I had Monday off, and it was super productive. I finished a book*, knocked almost everything off my school to-do list, went to the gym, put laundry away. I was a powerhouse.
And then I realized, it was in part because I didn't get on my phone. I didn't go on Facebook, in particular (well, for more than 5 minutes or so).
I found that when I went on and started scrolling, I lost swaths of time and really didn't have much to show for it. And, I found myself falling into the trap of comparing, and looking at what everyone else was doing, and looking to see what social things I'm not doing (even though I'm just fine not doing them).
I realized that this was not how I want to spend my time. I can't get off Facebook entirely; I use it to keep up with family far away and sometimes I enjoy putting my special brand of crazy and awkward out there amongst the photoshopping and seatbelt selfies and canned memes. I don't need to be spending as much mindless time on there as I have been.
I discovered a feature in the settings of my phone that tracks my screen time, kind of like a Fitbit for phone use. It showed me just how much time I've spent on Facebook, and I couldn't help but think of all the things I could have accomplished during that time. Of how very UNproductive that time was. Sometimes it's easy to sit on the couch after a long day (or while procrastinating) and just scroll, scroll, scroll. But that's time I could be reading, or writing, or working on a puzzle, or actually talking to someone.
My limit for Facebook is now 20 minutes. Just knowing I have a limit has already curbed my use, in the same way a food diary works. If you know you'll be writing down every thing that passes your lips, it can proactively stop you from eating too many gross things out of shame and accountability. If you know your phone is going to shut down an app after a certain time, there's a weird sense of trying to beat the policing that comes out and gets oddly competitive. It's like the timer policing assumes I have no independent self-control, but knowing the timer is there hones my self-control because I DON'T really want to be policed.
I bet you could do an interesting social psychology study on this.
So, a few days later, I've had the 5 minute warning come up but haven't had Facebook actually shut down on me. I set one for Pinterest, for 30 minutes, and it did get shut down on me (the icon grays out) today. I think though that I will make that time 1 hour. Pinterest is a different kind of rabbit hole -- I do use it for school stuff and cooking and home organization and vacation planning, and those are (at least a little) productive. More than an hour is probably unnecessary. It's a better, healthier, less-comparative-and-tinged-with-self-loathing time waster than Facebook, and I go on it far less frequently.
I think this social media policing is going to work out just fine.
* The book I finished was There There by Tommy Orange. It was PHENOMENAL. I literally couldn't put it down and the language was downright poetic at times. A great window into the lives of the Urban Native community, and a skillful interweaving of multiple perspectives marching towards a common event.
Yeah, FB. Social media in general. It’s definitely a double-edge sword. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20180104-is-social-media-bad-for-you-the-evidence-and-the-unknowns
ReplyDeleteI’m of the rule that moderation is key. Bravo on setting limits
I must see if I can track my use that way. I don't think I spend a lot of time on Fbk, but I probably underestimate how much time I do spend scrolling or reading articles. Good for you!
ReplyDeleteI really need to do this. Have a Google phone I don't think I have a setting like that, but I'll have to see if I can find an app. I hate the mindless scrolling. I hate that I have the Nook app on my phone to read, but do I read? No, I scroll social media, and when I'm done I wonder why I wasted so much time.
ReplyDeleteI have a Google phone too! Pixel something. Go to settings, apps & notifications, then screen time. AMAZING!
DeleteWhat a cool feature! Social media is one of those things that's so useful in some contexts and a hugely problematic thing in others, so it's great that you've found something that's working to set limits. I didn't even know those sorts of controls existed - will have to check out.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah this speaks to me. I'm always feeling frustrated that I never get around to finishing my current book yet somehow I do manage to find the time for mindlessly scrolling through facebook. Like you said, time passes and at the end you've not really accomplished anything. I'm also guilty of feeling worse about myself after social media. Like I'll be having a perfectly nice evening but then see some people I know posting about some party or event they are at and then I'll feel bad like why wasn't I invited/why amn't I cool enough to go to stuff like that. It's just silly. I find instagram worse then facebook for comparing.
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the feeling worse and comparing. It's a very human thing, but you still feel like shit and like you should somehow be above that as, you know, an adult. Ugh. I didn't join Instagram, and from what I hear it's okay that I'm not on that too. :) I have had many a trigger come about from seeing someone's pregnancy announcement or realizing just how old children who would have been the same age as mine are now. Don't need it! That timer has worked like gangbusters. :)
DeleteI spend waaayyyyy too much time on FB & other social media... and a lot of it is just bouncing around from one site/app to another, refreshing the page to see if anything new has come up. Before I know it, a couple of hours have gone by! I find if I put down the phone/laptop & pick up a book and read for a while, I can go through whatever posts have accumulated later on in no time at all. Kind of gives you pause...!
ReplyDelete