Self-Advocacy

With the exception of a couple months surrounding my hysterectomy, I have been doing Pilates at a studio for a year. I have really strong abs and good muscles underneath a soft layer of cheese and pie.

I love this studio -- it's small, classes are typically no more than 4 people, and you get great individualized attention on several pieces of crazy torture-device-looking contraptions called The Reformer, The Tower, and The Chair. I love that I feel like a circus performer when I'm using all the springs and bars and whatnot, and I definitely feel that my balance has improved along with my strength and I am far less of a fall risk than previously. Which was shamefully high for someone who is not 80.

Anyway, I got an email asking those with classes during the "closed for the holidays" period to feel free to choose from a list of class times so we didn't have to miss a session. I picked a 5:00 pm class, but when my email confirmation came, it was labeled...(cue Jaws theme)...

Pre/Post Natal Core

OH HELL NO. I emailed immediately and said, "hey, I think I'll take the 8 a.m. class, I'd prefer not to be in anything -Natal, thanks, sorry to be weird!"

I was super proud of myself, all not-super-explainy but taking care of my psyche at the tricky holiday time, if slightly awkwardly because that's who I am.

Then I got another message, saying, "Oh, they're all 6+ months post-natal at this point, it's really a Core II class now, and they're a really fun group! But, I can move you if you really want."

It was then that I realized that maybe I needed to be clearer.

I had two choices, 1) don't say anything and keep the time at 5 and suffer through because I didn't want to be "weird," or 2) explain a bit and be firm that while they may be a fun group, it's not the class for me. I guess there was also 3) insist on 8 a.m. and not explain why I was weirdly against joining a really fun group of new moms.

I would have totally picked #1 earlier in my experience. I would have swallowed down my feelings, and thought, "how bad can it be?" while totally KNOWING how bad it could be, and then smile through a rotten experience and feel terrible the whole rest of the day, just because I didn't want to inconvenience anyone or make it seem like I had something against a group of new moms who would never know that I'd had angst in the first place and who I likely didn't know at all anyway.

Well, I am proud to say that I picked door #2. I very politely said, "Hmmm...I'll go with the 8 a.m. class...Sometimes a group of moms can inadvertently cause me complicated feelings because I tried so hard to become one for so long. I'm sure they're lovely, thanks!"

I was promptly rescheduled, and it wasn't "weird," and the owner was totally understanding (I'd shared some info when doing my intake, and she'd just forgot that piece, which I take as a compliment, but she did feel a little badly for not remembering that piece of me).

Self-advocacy for the win.

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