Follow me on the crazy, hopeful, discouraging, funny, and ultimately successful (one way or another) path to parenthood while facing infertility.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

#Microblog Mondays: Tick Tick Tick



I saw a meme once that said, "August is just one long Sunday night," and it is SO TRUE. It's a feeling of anticipation, of "I'd-better-get-ready," of tiny niggling doubts (What if over the summer I forgot how to be a teacher? What if my reworked units and lessons don't work this year? What if this is the year I suck?), of equal parts excitement and dread. It's amazing to me that the first day of school is two weeks away. 

Yesterday, I had to go in early to be on the interview committee for a new part-time position, and also a maternity leave (FOR SEPTEMBER) for a coworker at the 9th grade building. Part of the reason why I was there was to sniff out possibilities for my own nebulous maternity leave, likely this school year. 

It was strange. It is strange to plan for a year so precisely because I may not be the one executing my beautiful binders of units (some definitely more beautiful than others), because at some indeterminate time someone else will be sliding into my place in my classroom(s), while I learn through experience how to be a new momma. It is strange to talk about this like it is actually going to happen.

Every little thing makes me realize how close (and yet also how far) this new reality is for us. 

Is it bad that I am kind of hoping that we don't get that call until at least November? Maybe I will feel ready in November. 

Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!

9 comments:

  1. I had to transition my classroom last year in September/October and it is an interesting experience for sure! I did a good job but it was a lot of work (my last week I worked 10 hour days, minimum). Worth it, though. Covering a mat leave can be difficult gig. At some point though you will be ready to let go (for a while) and embrace a new reality. And I think you will find that many teacher skills transfer to parenthood. And all those August thoughts - yeah. This will be my 10th year of teaching and I'm wondering - does this mean I have to hand in my "beginner pass?" Because I still feel like I need it!

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    1. I'm planning on a lot of work, for sure! I have started shaving off some of my commitments at school so that I can transition a little easier and spend my time getting ready for that poor sub that comes in with so little notice... :) Hopefully I set her/him up okay. Thanks for the encouragement -- it helps to know you can transition to a mat leave and survive it! :)

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  2. You're never ready :-). But as a former teacher, I get this post so much.

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    1. Ha, you could use that two ways -- never ready for school (kind of like how you can spend 24 hours in your classroom and still never be done with all you'd like to do), and never ready for parenthood. I guess it means conscientiousness that I'm so worried? (Either that or my anxiety is kicking up...)

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  3. I like that you think you'll be ready in November! And no, it's not bad to feel you need a few more months preparation. Maybe you'll feel you are more mentally ready, but I wonder if anyone is really prepared to become a parent, regardless of how they get there! So it seems to me that you're doing a good job of being ready even now.

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    1. I hope that I'd be ready in November! Although I do worry a bit that I'm applying an arbitrary date, like I am so good at doing. I'm sure November will come and I'll be like AAACK! NOT READY! It helps as a sort of deadline though to get things done in the house. Physically ready would be good, har har. Thank you, I do really well with prepping out the wazoo, and it's so exciting to think that all this prepping is actually coming to fruition.

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  4. Others may not understand wanting to get past the first weeks/months of school, but I get the need to be there to start things off right. And then run away skipping with your baby in your hands come November. Okay, that last part might not be such a grand idea.

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    1. Oh gosh, yes. The thought of not starting the year gives me the heebie jeebies. So much of your classroom culture is developed in those first weeks! Yes, I could totally see me running away skipping, "SEE YA, SUCKERS! I'm off to be a MOMMY!" In my head, at least. Maybe a little in person, more respectfully... :)

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  5. I had the most of the school year to prepare my classroom, but I was still hesitant to go on maternity leave because I knew whoever took my place wouldn't be ME and wouldn't do things MY way. I had to turn over my students...my babies to someone else. It helped somewhat because I knew my long term sub personally. Do you get to choose who your sub will be and prep them somewhat it advance? Fortunately though, the moment my little girl was placed in my arms, all of it didn't matter. NOT ONE BIT! I am so excited for you!

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