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When choosing (and re-choosing) OB/GYNs, my question of choice has always been, "Do you deliver at such and such hospital?" The hospital I'd wanted affiliation with was smaller, friendly, had beautiful birth suites, and just seemed like the perfect place for me to give birth.
Now that no longer matters.
I made an appointment today with a new/old OB/GYN, the one I left to go to a more New-Age-y, friendlier, more spa-like office to escape my old OB/GYN (the one who totally missed that I had PCOS, and told me I'd just need "basting," who at every annual exam wanted me to explain to her exactly how it was I wasn't pregnant yet, and who we ran into at the grocery store once, literally, because she aggressively ran over my husband's foot with her cart and DID NOT SAY "excuse me" or "so sorry," she just gave HIM a dirty look and sped on), only to find that just a few months later SHE JOINED THAT SAME PRACTICE, the one I had just run to.
I needed to leave my current gynecologist because of several reasons: a) I did monitoring there and feel the office is tainted with my most recent infertility experience, b) I have never had such a quick, drive-by annual exam in my life, one that ended with a chirped, "Okay, call me when you get pregnant!," and c) the office is the most pregnancy-centric place I have ever been to in my life. I am fine with seeing pregnant people, that doesn't bother me, but when every print, every sculpture, every FOUNTAIN is of a pregnant or nursing woman, it does bother me, because my care is so much more than my ability inability to reproduce.
I called today and tried to get set up with a doctor at my original practice that a friend of mine sees and loves, one who specializes in endocrinology and genetics and is just a GYN, not an OB. Which is fine, given my new reality, just...strange. She isn't accepting new patients, but I am on a waiting list and will see one of the other 5 doctors or so in the practice in the meantime. I am interested to see what this new chapter of my lady health will bring for me -- how much explaining I will have to do about my arduous and sad-sap tromping through IVF, and how different it will be to just focus on just my own body's health, instead of the process of preparing to create another body.
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Isn't it a refreshing feeling, starting to learn to live for yourself again? Starting to look after my body for myself has helped me once again see that my body is more then a baby machine that's broken! In many ways its a great way to be! I am wishing you so much happiness on this new road!!
ReplyDeleteYour old OB/GYN sounds AWFUL. Glad you made the switch! I hope that going to the new practice gives you a change to make a new beginning with other priorities. It sounds like a discombobulating experience, but a necessary one.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you find someone who is caring and compassionate and has some knowledge of infertility. The worst is when nurses (more so than doctors in my opinion) look at you blankly while you explain the most painful experience in your life in five sentences or less. This may sound ungrateful, but I'm also really looking forward to getting my body back. I'm so glad to be pregnant and I wouldn't change anything, but three years of treatment and now pregnancy has taken it's toll on my physical health. I'm already planning my exercise regime for next winter.
ReplyDeleteOh dear that old office does sound terrible! I dread going to my monitoring appointments because they are at a regular OB clinic and inevitably the ultrasound waiting room is full of pregnant bellies.
ReplyDeleteI do hope this new office is wonderful to you!
It's so funny that I read this today because I was thinking about switching doctors this morning. I'm going to do it because I can't go back to my regular ob/gyn anymore for my sanity. I just need to find a new doctor to try.
ReplyDeleteYES. It's important to know when to let a doctor go. My personal favorite is when they look at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation for things upon which it is not their job to judge.
ReplyDeleteOhmigosh, what a nightmare! hope you finally get to see a doctor who sees your parts as something other than a baby maker.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about seeing pregnancy and baby pictures everywhere! Here in Australia our REs are also OBs so their offices are often plastered with everything baby related.I hope you have a much better experience with this new practice!
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