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I have a Pinterest board, "Someday Our Dream Will Come...Until Then I Plan Obsessively," that I made last year, when I was tired of seeing everyone else's Planning for Baby boards in my feed and wanted to make a virtual baby binder that I could fiddle with on my phone.
When everything became painfully clear on Friday that we would be left with nothing from this cycle, what we had decided would be our LAST cycle, I was devastated. And then, somehow, by Sunday, I wanted to feel hopeful again.
So I went onto that Pinterest board, thinking I would have to retool it to be more appropriate to adoption.
Except...somehow, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in that board was pregnancy-related, NOTHING. It was all related to babies and small children, packing diaper bags (not hospital bags), dressing newborns, nursery decorations, activities for toddlers and up--nary a pregnancy pin in the mix.
How very interesting...it seems that my subconscious knew that our dream would come a different way than we had strived for so long, that I was already subconsciously making the switch from pregnancy to parenthood.
I toyed with making an Adoption Board, but decided against it and started adding adoption pins to my same board. Because someday our dream WILL come, I will continue to plan obsessively, and we will turn that SOMEday into ONE day...sooner than later, I hope.
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Sending positive energy to help your dream reality.
ReplyDeleteI love the positive spin you took on this. I am almost 45 now, but considering adoption to add to our family. I cannot quite shake the thought that, while we got EXTREMELY lucky and are blessed to have one, we were supposed to have two. She is supposed to have a sibling. Still debating. But I am thrilled for you that you've made that jump! Hang in there. The paths to parenthood can be many and varied. But you CAN get there.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I appreciate your encouragement. I hope that you find peace in your decision-making as to whether to add to your family of three. I can completely understand the "We were supposed to have two" feeling--how you wanted things to be and how they shake out can be so different. Best of luck to you!
DeleteI just loved this post! I hope you can hold onto that positivity. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I am feeling pretty positive. It was nice to see that pregnancy wasn't on my radar for that piece of things at least, and the big prize is parenthood. Made me feel more at peace!
DeleteI love this, Jess. My poor heart has been on a roller coaster (I can only imagine how you feel), but I love this post of hope and realization. I said it just before, but I'll say it here. You'll get your family of 3 (or more) and it will be perfect and I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteArgh, yes! Rollercoaster is an understatement. I feel badly for those of you following me on this crazy ride, because it just never ceases to throw a hairpin turn in there. "Hope and realization" -- love it. Thank you so much, I can't wait for your little one to arrive, too! :)
DeleteJust go for it and your dream will come through!
ReplyDeleteParul
Thank you! We are definitely going for it, and hopefully this direction will make that dream come true.
DeleteHuge smile reading this post. Not the need for the shift, but the realization that it wasn't the way you got there but where you want to be that has always been at the forefront.
ReplyDeleteOh good, I'm glad I made you smile hugely! Yes, where I want to be is definitely at the forefront. So nice to know part of me knew it all along. (Doesn't Dorothy say something like that???)
DeleteWow, very neat! Juan adoptive mama... 9 months nearly to the day that we made the switch from treatments to adoption, we brought our newborn daughter home... Sending hope and peace your way. It's not how you get there but what you end up with that makes your family complete.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful story full of hope for us! THank you so much for sharing and supporting. I so appreciate the hope and peace. And yes, what you end up with! Perfect! :)
DeleteThis post made me smile. Funny how life can be sometimes. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was pretty funny, and eye-opening.
DeleteSuch a lovely, heartwarming and fabulous post! I am amazed at the way the Universe conspires to bring you what your heart needs. So very pleased indeed. More power and blessings to you as you tread this path of parenthood. May you always be happy.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. It definitely felt like that was what I needed to discover. I appreciate your wishes of power and blessings!
DeleteSome baby will be a very very lucky soul to have adoptive parents as loving as you and Bryce. I'm burning candles for luck over here in the great North, and sending the positive vibes your way.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amanda--we appreciate your positive vibes and kind words very much.
DeleteYes, someday your dream will come. Whether it is the one you started out with, or one that you found along the way, or even one that you never expected to have, you'll get it.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I understand your need to plan obsessively!
How great to find that you've been mentally preparing for this path without even being aware of it!
ReplyDeleteWishing you well on your journey!