Anyway, I am on this rest thing which is good because of, you know, having a bit of a breakdown, and so I have been trying to do a little self-care, a little cleaning out.
It started with the house -- there are areas under furniture that are wicked dusty and I was tired of looking at it and I felt like That dust has probably seen so much sadness so I CLEANED IT OUT. I put a t-shirt piece on a swiffer thing and GOT RID OF THE DUST. It felt GOOD.
Next, the garden.
I feel like the state of my garden is a metaphor for life right now. It is a hot, hot mess. Last year was a year of getting very little done. We didn't even put window boxes or hanging baskets in. I planted very few new plants. I didn't get the fall cleanup done, in part because everything just felt so overwhelming and paralyzing, and in part because we had a huge snow dump in November before Thanksgiving. Then there were warm days over the winter but it was dark and I was tired so I didn't trim things up. And now... now it is spring and I am DETERMINED to fix the state of the garden. Like my body and mind, it is in a state of neglect. And yet, there is hope pushing through.
I give you pictures for your springy viewing enjoyment. Detritus filled gardens that need to be cleared like the dust under my furniture, and new hope springing up through the leaf litter. Maybe the new hope looks differently than I'd thought it would, and that's okay. Maybe it's my life popping back up, green and eager to bloom, and not some other tiny life I'd hoped so hard to have in my care. Hard to tell at this point, but hope is hope. And it is beautiful.
|Nothing hopeful here, just a sea of gray and brown.|
|And I've waited until there are new shoots to rake... Even our lawn is a mess!|
|Oh, butterfly garden. A sad mess of leaves and old foliage and sticks. I can see what it will look like in about a month though, and that makes me happy. But right now, this is what my insides look like to me.|
|But look! After the leaf litter and weeds are cleared, bright sunshiny hope! They made it through the giant snow and wind!|
|Before picture, so many weeds and moss and leaf litter. That drain pipe gets covered by peonies and verbascum and flowers I haven't planted yet.|
|Believe it or not this is an "after" picture, all weeds cleared but irises not trimmed and no mulch. But better. One section done. It made me feel better physically, too.|
|These are my favorite white daffodils. They are later than the yellow ones, but last longer too. And they are squirrel plants. The best is when bulbs plant themselves! Sorry to whichever neighbor they were thieved from. Also not sorry.|
|I have some happy lupines this year! And now I know a lupine is a lupine is a lupine. No more putting magical expectations on garden plants. It's unfair to everybody.|
There will always be a spring.
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