Bucket List Moment

Wednesday was the last day of school. Huzzah, it is truly summertime now! I know this because the weather is hot, the flowers are blooming, I'm off work, but also because every single time I lie down on the couch I fall dead asleep for at least an hour. My body knows it's time to recharge and rejuvenate.

This past week or so has been the Jazz Festival here in Rochester, which is an amazing event that we don't take advantage of nearly enough. We actually had one of our first dates at the festival, 13 years ago -- we went to see Susan Tedeschi and Etta James in the same venue where we saw someone totally different on Wednesday night. It was a night of good music, and new-date-hand-holding that makes you all squishy inside.

I was listening to NPR on my way into school the week before this one, and they said that JEFF GOLDBLUM was here, playing the Jazz Festival, and that he had a new record released: Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, the Capitol Studio Sessions. Because he's a jazz piano player, and unbeknownst to me, he's been playing a regular gig in L.A. for 20 years, but now he's touring. Also, have I mentioned how much I LOVE JEFF GOLDBLUM?

He may be 66 and married (to a 35 year old former Olympic gymnast no less) with two small children, and he's a famous person, a movie star, but he's also someone that I have pined after for DECADES.

His portrayal of Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park clinched it for me, because he was smart, and sexy, and weird, and a little bit of a dick (unfortunately, that was a thing I was into at the time). God that was sexy. And then Independence Day --  he was smart, and sexy, and science-y, and NOT a jerkface... Ahhhhhh.

My first boyfriend in college, who was my first serious long-term boyfriend, had a real problem with the fact that I found Jeff Goldblum sexy. He was horrified. He said, "But have you seen The Fly?" How can you find THE FLY sexy?"

I hadn't seen The Fly.

So we watched it, and when he's at his grossest, face-peeling off, recently-vomited-on-someone's-arm-and-then-ate-it worst, he turned to me and said, "Is he sexy now? How's he NOW???" which was definitely bizarre and also hilarious, because I am not crushing on THE FLY, I am crushing on the hot, sexy, smart actor who PLAYS the Fly. Duh. This had nothing to do with why we broke up eventually, but it should have.

Anyway, my lust for Mr. Goldblum became a bit of a punchline to my college friends, who didn't appreciate his quirky charm (and hot lanky body) quite as much as I did. But this past birthday, one of my friends gifted me with a Jeff Goldblum mermaid pillow -- I was just thrilled to have a mermaid pillow (those sequins that flip and are ridiculously tactile), but then she told me to flip it down AND HOLY CROW THERE WAS THAT SEXY MAN'S FACE!

Then, to find out just a month and change later that he was HERE, in my hometown, and there were still tickets available? I was giddy. At dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant last Friday, I shared this info with Bryce, and he MADE IT HAPPEN. We got tickets. In the orchestra section. Now there is a man who is confident in the fact that I find HIM sexier than Jeff Goldblum, that my celebrity crush does not mean anything for my attraction to him, at all. (Doesn't hurt that Bryce is also tall, lanky, science-y, smart, quirky, and sexy... albeit in a different way than Jeff...)

The concert was the last day of school, and I got all gussied up and we ate a quick dinner and made our way to the venue, 10-15 minutes early. Oh man, I wish I had known that he does an audience-meet-and-greet thing for about 30 minutes before shows, and people were getting selfies with him and he was doing question-answer stuff, and signing things... Once I realized that's what was happening we were trapped in the middle of a row and I didn't feel I could get up to run up to the stage and be embarrassing.

Because in my purse, I packed the tickets, and...

Oh, is that a hint of mermaid you see? YES, YES IT IS! My friend told me the good news that the pillow was a pillow cover, and I could take it off and fold it in my bag! With a sharpie! I was on a mission.

The show was great -- he is SO personable, and stopped to talk with the audience (some might say more than he played), and did some interactive stuff, and played jazz with those sexy long fingered hands... but I couldn't seem to get my pillow in his face. I am actually very shy in public situations, which is a weird paradox because if I'm comfortable with you, shy is the LAST adjective you'd use to describe me. I couldn't bring myself to yell or shake my pillowcase in the air until the end, and he didn't see it. I felt a bit deflated.

But then, we left, and I asked if we could go around back. Because I had a feeling that he would be leaving out the back and there might be one more opportunity to meet the man. We turned the corner to the back entrance in an alleyway behind Eastman Theater, and there was a semicircle of fans clutching various things for him to sign. JACKPOT!

We waited probably 20 minutes at least, with manager-looking people coming out and scoping the crowd and then going back in (which was torturous), and then his band members started to come out. We clapped and hooted for them, too, because people in Rochester are generally nice and appreciative (or at least this group was!). And then... he came out! The semicircle swooped in, and Bryce helped me be a bit more assertive, keeping his camera out so I could clutch onto my sequined pillowcase and slide my way forward.

So close yet so far away....

Gaah, closer! 

That's the back of my head with the shadow of Bryce's phone on it, I am so close but his manager's getting twitchy and he started saying "Oh, I need to go soon," and I wanted to shout, "MUST GO FASTER!" 

I made it! That lovely police officer behind me helped me get his attention (it pays to be nice and not weird, although I was totally weird)... I did show him that his face was on the front, but still on  Facebook people thought I handed him a couch cushion... :) 

JACKPOT! Mission Accomplished! 

Holy holy guacamole! I may have been creepily touching his arm and then I KISSED him on the cheek! The sexy sexy cheek!

Super blurry, but you can still tell it's me and it's him and he did not mind that I smooched him at all! 

So, I may have, in the middle of invading his personal space, MEANT to say, "Meeting you is on my bucket list!"

Instead, what did I say?  "YOU are on my bucket list!"

Which, honestly, is probably more accurate. Ha.

It was fantastic. I was thrilled, Bryce was thrilled for me (again, secure in the fact that THIS IS A MARRIED CELEBRITY AND THIS IS ALL FUN FANGIRL SHIT, AND NOT A THREAT TO HIM WHATSOEVER...), and so excited that he could make the evening happen.

And now, I have this:

He was clearly rushed, as this looks like some kind of brushstroke character, but I can make out the J and the separated F and "Glm," and I have picture proof, so it's now a(n even more) prized possession!

Ahhhh. Perseverance for the win. What a great start to my summer!