Last night, when I was doing lesson planning, I noticed that I got an email from a former student who I had in my consultant teacher English class, but also in a small study hall here I got to know her and the three other students (I may never have a study hall quite so nice again).
She was like a bizarro me -- her reading habits were very similar to mine, she was a little silly but also highly sarcastic like me, and we even looked a little alike. Once when we were working on a research project in the library, another student said, "You could totally be mother/daughter!" and even my co-teacher said that we were oddly reminiscent of each other.
In the email, she writes about how her year is going so far, and inquires about adoption. She asks, "Have you got your baby yet? I sure hope so, I think you'd make a spectacular mother. You actually remind me of my own on some occasions, with your clumsiness and pretty strange stories."
Cue big, fat, ugly cry.
I don't mind when previous students ask if I've "got my baby yet," which is a fairly frequent check in question (I am very fortunate to have had students in the past few years who keep in touch, sending the random email every once in a while). But for some reason, it was absolutely tragic to me that this sweet, smart, snarky girl believes I will be a spectacular mother and that I remind her of her own...but I am smacked with the reality that I AM NOT YET.
It was a beautiful moment, and also a desperately sad moment. Bryce really wasn't sure what to do with me, as I sobbed and sobbed but kept repeating, "It's just SO NICE!" at the same time.
I am so lucky to have students who think I'd be a spectacular mother. I think so, too, and just hope to the heavens that I get the chance.
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