Follow me on the crazy, hopeful, discouraging, funny, and ultimately successful (one way or another) path to parenthood while facing infertility.

Monday, August 22, 2016

#Microblog Mondays: That Back To School Slide Show

It's that time of year again, and I sent off my picture(s) for the annual Back to School Staff Slide Show, and try to find something that wasn't already on Facebook and that doesn't make me feel sad about life.

In previous years this has been extremely difficult. I enjoy looking at all the new babies, people with new pregnancies, families out and about -- except it's literally watching the passage of time, the evolution of people's lives, the bellies that are now babies and the babies that are toddlers and so on. It's just a little depressing when you are continuously static in your pictures...unless you count the fact that I am ever so slightly chubbier with every passing year.

It's not just me, either -- I have a friend who is in her late thirties and single, and the slideshow is a parading of weddings and couples and families that show how her pictures are static, too.

Blah blah blah comparison is the thief of joy blah blah, it's more the contrast, the stark difference, between your stasis and everyone else's forward movement and constant change and procreating everywhere that can make a body feel a bit low at what's supposed to be a fun, celebratory kickoff day.

Last year was a lot of fun, because we had been homestudy approved and we spent the summer registering at the BBB baby store, and so my way of sharing this news was this picture:

So much excitement! It could be ANY DAY! (Or it could be a year later and no different!)
WELL. That forward movement sort of stalled out this year and I am missing the next picture in the series (and still haven't bought the stroller).

 I found myself struggling to find a picture, yet again, for the freaking slideshow.

I decided on these, because they are from our vacation (the Massachusetts part) and I think they are both fun and representative, although NARY A BABY TO BE SEEN:

Just sittin' on some rocks on the Atlantic coast (Marblehead, MA)

Just being my dorky self in front of The House of the Seven Gables, in Salem, MA
(Like the vine that is basically a shepherd's hook trying to whisk me away? )
Still us, still vacationing in New England, no baby, no real updates other than that almost-sorta-blind-profile-but-not-quite in July.

At least the goofy one hopefully will get a chuckle and fend off the "why no update?" questions, at least for a little while...


Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy! 

24 comments:

  1. I think the photo of you two at the Atlantic Ocean is beautiful. Though the one at the house of seven gables could get some nice laughs ;)

    It's hard to feel stagnant. Especially when you have a clear goal in mind whose outcome is out of your control. I'm sorry that you're in the place. Thinking of you as you prepare for the school year. And hoping that you won't be in limbo much longer.

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    1. Thank you! I like an ocean shot in my summer, for myself more than for the slideshow. I'm hoping for nice laughs! Ah, stagnant. That's the word I was searching for but couldn't find. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts! I hope the limbo ends this year, too.

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  2. I think those two vacation photos are AWESOME (and not just because they look so familiar - been to HotSG, and probably been past that area of Marblehead, given I grew up in Gloucester - but I wicked digress!). Sending good thoughts to you, and hopes that next's years slide show choices will only be difficult because there will be so many joyful ones to choose from!

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    1. Thank you! I know, I was totally in your neck of the woods! We almost went to your castle, but we ran out of time. Next time, next time! Thank you so much...I definitely hope for a different picture next year, but can't help but think that I don't want to make anyone else feel the way I do every year, but I guess it's inevitable.

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  3. I really like your pictures -- you look happy. All that other stuff that may look like progress? Well, that doesn't necessarily also mean happiness.

    Love your captions :-)



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    1. Thank you! I am happy. Despite all the stagnation, everything else is pretty darn good. True, true -- there could be pictures of babies and stuff but there could be misery out of the picture... I am lucky to have some real true happiness in and out of the pictures. :) Thanks! I love captions.

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  4. Those are great photos! They tell how you had so much fun during your time off. You looked happy. But I get the stark contrast of your life vs. someone else's life. I hope next year you get to show case Mystery Baby and all the fun things that you do with him/her on your slideshow.

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    1. Thank you so much! I am happy, and it was a superfun day. (I am so wearing the same shirt in both pictures, because it was morning/afternoon...) Yes, stark contrast. Hard when it's all put out there for like 15 minutes and you smile through it all and are like, Oh wow, you're having a fourth child? How amazing! (and trying really hard not to feel sad that one is eluding you). I feel like every year I'm all, "Next year will be the baby year!" and it's just not, which compounds the sad feeling. Oh well! I have fun pictures and I'll go with that! :)

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  5. Your photos are gorgeous. Happy. Whimsy.

    I get your point. I would sh*t a brick if I were expected provide a photographic, "how I spent my supper vacation" year after year.

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    1. Thank you! Whimsy, I like that! I have friends who boycott the slideshow. Not because they don't have pictures, but because they dislike the idea and feel they don't need to provide something (especially when it's so much family stuff).

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  6. Ah, I remember the slideshow: such a cute idea, and so cringe-y at the same time. Anyway, your photos are lovely. I agree with Lori that "progress" doesn't equal happiness. I hope your kick off to the year goes ok without too many awkward moments. (But you can always share them here and we'll all roll our eyes together).

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    1. Perfect -- cute but cringey! Oh, thank you for the promise of communal eye-rolling. I'm sure that will happen, probably within the first day. ;-)

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  7. I love the photos too. A trip is always worth celebrating. And I'm sorry that you feel as if there's been no progress, but others don't look at you and see that.

    I actually don't like the idea of this slideshow. It sounds like a competitive compressed version of Facebook.

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    1. Thank you! Love trips, even though I rarely go outside of New England... I do feel like people look at me with a little pity and feel like there's been no progress. I have had people ask me "do you know what it is?" or "What's the holdup?" or then ask why I'm not looking to adopt one of the many older children in need of homes. It's SO MUCH FUN. I am so in agreement with you on the slideshow being a compressed Facebook thing. With facebook, I feel like I've already seen so many pictures, and I have to find ones I didn't really put up there so people aren't bored. It's weird.

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  8. Absolutely. Until now I had tried to not let it bother me. But with IVF becoming a reality, the stagnant state that is our life is becoming more and more of a bother. I think having other goals helps take the sting out of it. I think I need to start training for another race soon, just so I can say I am doing something...

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    1. It is hard, right? To see the passage of time for everyone else and feel kind of stuck in some sort of time loop? A race sounds like torture to me, but awesome for you -- it's good to have things that DO change and evolve even if this one thing doesn't.

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  9. The questions about "summer break" here are troublesome for a completely different (and not nearly so heart-rending) reason. Most of the faculty are given summers off, whereas staff and Non-Teaching-Faculty (NTFs like me) work through the summer. Usually, summers are more busy for us than the rest of the year because there's overlap in fiscal years (the fun of lapse spending). This type of show-and-tell is hell for Introverts regardless of any other compelling reasons to avoid 'em... It *is* interesting, but as the quote goes:

    "Hell is other people." -Jean-Paul Sartre

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    1. Yeah, different jobs have different on and off seasons. I guess be thankful it's not everyone "coming back" and accounting for those 10 weeks... I think on how our administration and secretaries feel, who are 12 month employees. Although, it would be nice to receive paychecks all year. I may have summers off, but they are unpaid... It's all balance!

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  10. Your photos look lovely, and the funny one is great! I've always thought ideas like this slide show are fun in theory, but can definitely pour salt in open wounds on so many levels. Hopefully it won't be too awful, but like Torthuil said, we're all here in solidarity for those moments.

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  11. Sending a hug. It's hard. But you look so good in the photos. A kind smile can hide a lot.

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  12. Sounds like a slideshow that I would politely slide out to go to the "bathroom" and then go for a quick drive to Starbucks. We used to have pictures like yours and I frankly I'd love to have that "in love" feeling back again. See? I'm envious of you!

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  13. Totally relate to the feeling of standing still while time passes. I think I've mentioned this here before, but after years of fertility treatments and now in the middle of our own adoption wait it is incredible to me sometimes that so much time has passed... yet I feel like I'm in the same place. It's so disheartening.

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  14. Totally relate. It's so hard when other people are buying new houses, getting new jobs, having new babies and we're just...stuck. And often sad.

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  15. Never heard of the slideshow, but I am not surprised. :p FWIW, I love your photos... Just think, someone else tied down with four kids at home may be envying YOU for your lovely adult vacation! ;) (We can hope, right? ;) )

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