This year just flew on by, and I'm painfully aware of the fact that I started the year with such hopes and optimism, telling everyone at the first faculty meetings of our adoption plans and how my phone would have to be on all the time, justincase...and nothing has changed. Well, we've had opportunities, but we still do not have parenthood. It's frustrating, and a little embarrassing.
I will miss my kids. I mean, I miss them every year, but I feel like I made some extra special connections this year.
This week means saying goodbye, and I am trying to do it in a way that lets them know just how special they are to me (but in a noncreepy way of course).
Thursday I give out my books to my Reading Class -- a book hand picked for each of them, based on what they liked throughout the year and with the hope that in receiving a book especially chosen for them that is inscribed with a personalized message that maybe, MAYBE they will read at least one book over the summer as they head to high school and don't have as much independent reading requirement. Which is sad, because more and more unless they have to, so many kids aren't reading. It makes me deeply troubled and very sad, but I hope that even in the tiniest way I have planted a seed in them that will germinate and sprout and flower if not now, then sometime down the line.
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| This year's books for this year's group. I have never read so many basketball AND soccer books in a year. I hope they love the books as much as I loved picking them out! |
It's hard to say goodbye, both to a whole school year and all my students. It's great to see them move on, to have another year under my belt. And I do have summer to look forward to...filled with time to read and relax and recharge for the whole new year and set of students to come. It's a beautiful cycle.
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I love that you give them books. It's such a special and personal gift. May the inscriptions inspire them to read.
ReplyDeleteSaying goodbye, even for only a little while, is hard. I know you had such high hopes going into this year, which makes those good-byes just a bit harder. May summer bring healing.
It's my favorite day all year. This year went especially well, and I got all teary eyed... It was a wonderful day. Bittersweet, but wonderful. I don't know what to hope for summer, I think I have to just go for relation and rejuvenation and not expecting anything to change.
DeleteIt seems as though you are going through a lot of transition right now. Keeping you in my thoughts as you say good-bye to special people in your life and hopes that your heart is filled with something ever better ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is a lot of transition! A LOT! More than is reasonable, really. :) Thank you so much for your thoughts. It was a great last day, but a hard last day too, and that made it even more special.
DeleteI now have Alice Cooper singing in my head... *grin*
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your idea of giving out books and quotes to your different classes. Considering I still have some papers from middle school that I kept, specifically because of simple, encouraging remarks from teachers, I'm sure those thoughtful gifts will be the treasured keepsake of more than a few students. Hope you have a great last week with your students, Jess!
Ha! That song I believe was playing as the kids walked in. A little cruel, to play it as they walk in and not as they walk out... although I think it was quietly on the PA system as they walked out and was drowned by all the excitement. :) I had a great last week and the books and quotes all went really well. One of my students who received a quote card read it and then said, "AH! AAAAAAAH! I am feeling all SOFT on the INSIDE! Ah!" He was trying really hard not to cry. So of course I teared up. :) Thank you!
DeleteAw, that's so thoughtful of you! Even though I look forward to the summer (of course) it's always a strange feeling to not see the students all the time. One nice thing about special ed though is getting to work with them over three years. Glad that it was a good school year for you: stressful in other ways, but lots to be thankful for.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely a lot to be thankful for! I don't loop with my students, I have 8th grade only every year, so I don't get that three-year connection like some of our other teachers do. However, I love special ed because you have smaller groups, and you can really, REALLY get to know them over the course of your time together. You can forge a deeper connection when you have fewer students and see them throughout the day. I hope you have a good last day, too!
DeleteI love that you get to know your students and pick specific books just for them at the end of the year- that is so thoughtful!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be embarrassed that you are not going through parenthood just yet. Unfortunately, most of this process is out of your control. I'm constantly sending Future Baby thoughts your way in the hopes that he or she will show up soon!
I try, I try -- my fourth grade teacher did this for my class and slipped me an extra one. I never forgot it and talk to my students all the time about it. It went really, really well this year. It's hard not to feel a little embarrassed, like "thanks for the shower in September, good thing car seats don't expire for a few years, HAR HAR." I know it's not rational, that I don't have control over this process, but it's hard. I can't help but feel a little like a fake, even though I know that's not true.
DeleteYou are a wonderful teacher. Back when I had my own class, I cried every year at the end of the year. I tried to explain to the kids that for 6+ hours a day, they were my kids. We were a big school family. And now they were going off and leading exciting lives and I wasn't going to know the rest of their story. I loved it when kids came back to visit, and I still sometimes bump into old students! They're all in their twenties now... gulp...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I hope that these things stick in my students' minds, that they remember feeling loved and supported and that they have more confidence leaving me than they had going in. I so relate to your thoughts on students being yours for the time -- it's how I feel, too. Some come back to visit, but it's a relatively small percentage. WOW, that must be amazing to have kids in their twenties now that you made an impact on. It's one of the many amazing things about being a teacher...
DeletePersonalized books and cards with the kids' quotes - what wonderful gifts! It's obvious how much time, effort, care and passion you pour into working with your students.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Future Baby, sending thoughts and hopes your direction. Waiting is so hard.
Thank you so much! I embarrassed the heck out of them telling them I loved them (but not in a creepy way) yesterday, on our last day together. I will miss them, but it's a beautiful cycle--I get a whole new group to love and nurture and teach in September. Assuming I'm not out. It's also hard to have talked to parents and warned them in advance that I might be out at some point this year, and then have it not happen. That's not fun, either. But, such is life, such is the mystery of the adoption process. :) Thank you for your thoughts!
DeleteThe book idea is so sweet. My favorite college professor gave both my husband and I books she picked out for us when we graduated, with notes written inside. We weren't married or even dating yet, but we were her two favorites. Mine was Wicked, because I had written a paper on The Wizard of Oz. It's still so special to me.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I can only hope that it sticks, that they have this moment to look back on. How wonderful of your professor -- I always think of post-secondary as so much less personal, but that is super special. And how neat that you were both given books and share that memory, before you even dated!
DeleteI think that you are just absolutely amazing, Jess! This post says so much about your character, about you as a teacher, about the kind of parent you will be to mystery baby, about your heart. Truly, I mean that. I love, love, love the fact that you personally select books tailored to each student. The world needs more people like you!
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