Mostly because the paperwork has been languishing -- specifically paperwork that has to be signed by physicians. It's weird to me, because it's the whole lengthy FDA questionnaire about travel, and not selling your body or doing drugs or selling your body for drugs (no worries, we're all clear of risk) -- but we're filling it out NOW, while these embryos were created in 2013 and 2014, respectively. So does it really matter what we're doing now?
Anyway, the last of the paperwork went into the mail on Friday. Which means, once Snowflakes receives it, our embryos can be transferred from our last clinic to the Snowflakes cryobank, where they will hang out until a match is made.
I have hated that everything has been drawn out, because I felt like once we made this decision, I wanted everything to move quickly and resolve these loose ends waving in the breeze, these potential lives sitting on ice.
But I haven't thought about it much.
Now, knowing that our paperwork should be received by mid-week at the latest, I am feeling a sense of excitement, or maybe more of apprehension. Things are in motion. The embryos will get transferred to a new facility and then we will officially have nothing left in a fertility clinic...it will all be related to adoption.
Soon we will be looking at profiles and deciding on who will be potential parents to our potential lives that we created but could not make materialize into something other than theoretical. It is a surreal, but exciting time. What a bizarre and yet amazing experience to be in these two places at once -- waiting to be matched with an expectant mother at the same time we wait to match our embryos with adoptive parents. It's not quite opposite sides of the same coin, but how interesting to get feedback and traction on our own profile book while we get the chance to review other people's profiles, to choose and be chosen at the same(ish) time.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
I am truly amazed by all the paperwork you have to go through in order to place your embryos for adoption. It makes me realize why so many chose not to even face this, which is such a shame.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you've cleared this last hurdle. May nothing but good things come.
It's a LOT of paperwork. And, we found out tonight, possibly bloodwork too. Which is silly because again, these embryos were created a long time ago. Today's bloodwork means bubkus. It's worth it to us, but just so surreal. Thank you for your good wishes!
DeleteI think all of the care and hard work you all have given is a gift to these potential babies. It speaks to the love in which you created them. Thank you for giving them this opportunity.
ReplyDeletePerhaps this experience will give you insight into the other side of the process to help you with your adoption journey. Sending good vibes!
Thanks for your thoughts and good wishes! I feel that it is a gift to be able to give them a shot elsewhere and then to get to know about it and have a part in that life even if it's completely peripheral. Just to have a peek into what those embryos might have come to had we been able to make them babies. And, selfishly, to maybe get answers on why this just didn't work for us. We will see what comes of all this! :) Thank you for your good vibes!
DeleteAs I read your post, the phrase, "When one door closes, another one opens," sprang to mind. I wish the mountain of paperwork wasn't in your path, but I hope you make it through that open door soon! *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThank you! Door open, now we wait. More waiting! :) I feel like we have a couple doors open at once. Not a bad thing, in this case. Thanks for your thoughts!
DeleteI've been wondering how things are going, and I had no idea it was such an involved process! How interesting that you're on both sides of the profile picking simultaneously. What great insight that not many get to have!
ReplyDeleteIt IS so involved! But the good news is that now we are open to matching. Finally! I can't wait to get my hands on someone else's profile. Obviously to give these embryos a great shot at a family that we'd feel comfy with, but also out of morbid curiosity as to what it's like to look through one of those books with a critical eye, looking to see if it's the right fit, the right connection.
DeleteYou are stronger than steel. Letting go of your snowflakes and letting them be snowflakes for someone else takes an enormous amount of strength, hope, and love.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much -- We are excited for the possibilities in these little frozen things we've created and couldn't breathe magic into. It feels like the best decision, definitely out of love. Lots and lots of love. Thank you.
DeleteI ditto what Amanda said. And how crazy to be choosing/being chosen at the same time...kind of a mind f*ck, right?!
ReplyDeleteIt was a good one! YES, so crazy. Your word is perfect. I think I've used it to describe this whole scenario multiple times... :) Very exciting, though. Hopefully there really is a lid for every pot! :)
DeleteWow, what a process indeed! What goes around will come around, right? Yes!
ReplyDeleteMan, I hope so. That would be amazing. We are going to have one heck of a family tree when this is all said and done on both ends! Roots and branches and grafting...
DeleteYou are amazing for working through so much all at once. Wishing you the best with everything!
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is just such a beautiful way to end our infertility journey, to tie up loose ends in a way that keeps us attached in some way. Someday hopefully I will look back at all this and think how complicated life was once upon a time... I can only hope, right? Thank you for your good wishes!
Delete