Nothing is illustrating to me just how differently my husband and I tackle a project more than the adoption Profile Book. Up until this point, we have been able to divide-and-conquer all of our adoption tasks, and I hate to say it but I have been able to orchestrate and control the way that things are being done through my lists and schedules and reminders. This is a good thing, but it also highlights my incredible need to control every little piece of the process, something I realize quite sharply that is going to change once we go live and very little, if not absolutely NOTHING, is in our control.
I had a plan for the profile book. It seemed so simple in my head. It is SO NOT SIMPLE.
Last weekend I was crying, SOBBING in front of the computer, feeling completely overwhelmed and lost, swimming in a sea of Shut.terfly options that just didn't fit.
Finally, Bryce was like, "Step away from the computer, crazy lady" (in the nicest of ways).
He thought we should do things differently than I wanted to, with my Shu.tterfly poking and my 11x17 inch paper folded mock-up that I'd already erased at least once. I hated to admit it (controlcontrolcontrol), but he was right. Putting a fake layout into a powerpoint made so much more sense --we could manipulate it easier, we could switch pages around, we could see a snapshot of what a page might look like and then search for layouts to fit that, not vice versa. And then we would find a platform that works for us, for this specific purpose, not just go with what we used before for our wedding books.
Writing it down it makes so much sense, but at the time it seemed like he was just making all these EXTRA STEPS. Typical engineer, planning things to death. Things that would slow us down.
And it's true, it does slow us down, but this project is kind of important, no?
The profile book is often the ONLY thing a potential birth mother will see of us, a sort of "imagine your baby here" kind of look-book into our lives. It is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in the adoption process to get right. The home study was important, we can't be at this point without it, but the profile book? We don't get chosen without a good one. Period.
So I need to let go, let go, let go. Let go of the unreasonable deadline that I myself have imposed upon us. Let go of the need to control everything, because when it comes to designing things on a computer, that's one of many places where Bryce shines. I've got the writing thing down and can pick out nice pictures, but when it comes to working in Publisher (our final choice for the platform), Bryce will have the edge. Let go of my fears that I will screw this up and no one will pick us.
Let go and breathe and just let our lovely selves shine through, don't overdo it, and try not to freak out.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy. Again, apologies, this one is more like a midi post.