I have written so many Mother's Day posts before, where I talk about staying off of Facebook, and hanging out in my backyard so I don't have to see the Stroller Brigade and/or other people's festivities, and drinking lovely cocktails at 2:00 in the afternoon, and celebrating my own mother on a different day to save myself the torture of going out somewhere for brunch and witnessing the joy that everyone-but-me seems to have.
But this year? This year I almost missed writing a post near Mother's Day at all. Partly because life is ridiculously busy right now, with the merging of adoption (home study classes next weekend and last of paperwork in this week), my birthday, the kitchen renovation, and Bryce's grammie passing away. And partly because we inadvertently didn't really celebrate it this year.
Originally, I was going to host a brunch with my sister at my mom's house on Saturday. I was up for doing it on Mother's Day proper, but my mom wanted my sister to have more flexibility with her travel arrangements and so Saturday it was to be. My sister, who is very enthusiastic about our adoption plans, expressed interest in doing something just us ladies to celebrate our various ways of mom-ness. My mom for having us, her for having her stepsons, and me for having my soon to be baby. Except I'm not quite ready to celebrate that as if it is a given. We are not eligible yet; our home study is not complete. I don't know if I'll be a mom for NEXT Mother's Day, and so it seems premature to be celebrating my impending Mom Status now. Plus Mother's Day is still really, really hard. Did I mention there's been six of them without any change in my parental status? I felt badly, because she was bursting with joy and feeling like FINALLY, we can celebrate this holiday without this specter of loss for you! (My words, not hers.) But I'm not ready. That cloud is still raining on my Hallmark Holiday parade, and I have suffered too much loss throughout this journey to feel confident that I'll be a mom sooner than later and have the right to celebrate Mother's Day for myself. Still an empty hole where someday there will be joy on this day. So I politely declined and said I'd be happy to celebrate the two of them, but I wasn't ready to be included.
But it turned out I didn't have to walk that line of celebrating and feeling excited but nervous and like a Mother's Day imposter, because Bryce had a calendar snafu and made the whole Mother's Day celebration shift.
He called me on his way home from work last Friday, and was all excited. "I booked your birthday trip! I got us something really special! It's going to be great! We're not doing anything NEXT weekend, right?"
I felt horrible and didn't want to burst his bubble, but I kind of had to. "Um, nothing except it's Mother's Day..."
"SHIT SHIT SHIT! I can't cancel or I'll lose at least half the room fee! SHIT!"
So I let him know that it wouldn't be a problem, I would call my mom, I would explain the situation, we would move Mother's Day and celebrate it separately. And so I did. My mom was totally understanding, and so was my sister. And, in a way, I was kind of relieved. I could take my mom out on Wednesday to a lovely dinner and not worry about feeling awkward that I was the only non-mom in the room. And really, what's better for an infertile woman, albeit one who has started the adoption process, than to spend Mother's Day weekend in a B&B in Ithaca, far away from all the Mother's Day brou-ha-ha?
And so that's just what we did. My birthday weekend trip was AMAZING. I was able to (mostly) forget that it even was Mother's Day, and focus on a nice romantical weekend with my awesome, thoughtful, handsome husband.
|Said handsome husband, in the rock garden on Cornell's campus.|
|Birthday/Vacation bubbles on the deck|
|Sunset view from the private deck|
|Using evil fertility medication coolers for good...|
Saturday's big activity was walking ALL OVER the Cornell campus. Man, that is a beautiful (and huge) campus. It was gorgeous. And HOT. We are not used to this much sun. We went to all the places that a friend at school had highlighted on a map of the campus -- she'd gone there some time ago and knew all the really pretty things to see. So we visited Sage Chapel, and the student union (whose name I can't remember but it had a really pretty lookout over the hill and down to Cayuga Lake), and the A.D. Dickson house's azalea gardens, and the Cornell Store, which is completely underground and a mecca for interesting books. I may have spent some birthday money there and added to my giant stack of to-read next to the bed that is creating a fire hazard. I cannot WAIT for summer when I have more reading time! Sage Chapel was really gorgeous, although for some reason the heat was on. There were astronomical paintings on the ceiling above the buttresses, and stained glass and mosaics on the walls, and intricate stonework on the floors. There was a crypt of sorts with amazing sculpture work (of people gone by, but still beautiful) and more mosaics and stained glass. It was AMAZING. We felt really, really old walking around campus surrounded with people at least 20 years younger than us, but it was also kind of invigorating. It was a place that got Bryce all jazzed up about academia and his upcoming exploration into a PhD program. He just thrives in that kind of environment.
|A pretty quad-faced view from the lookout at the union|
|A lake-facing view from the lookout at the union|
|Obligatory silly-face picture in the gardens...I think we have|
one exactly like this in all our vacation photos.
Unfortunately, all the pollen (SO MUCH POLLEN) and walking in the heat and asthma issues and weird atmospheric pressure doings had started a massive migraine brewing. I had been trying to stretch out my neck and shoulders and prevent the stupid head pain from happening full-force, but it was not to be. I took a nap to try again to get rid of what was fast becoming a nasty migraine, but it only made it better for a short while. We had dinner at a beautiful restaurant up at the top of the hill, in Cayuga Heights. It was set to be a great evening, except we BOTH weren't feeling well (probably too much sun) and my head was throbbing to the point where I had to massage it constantly, and for some reason our room of the restaurant was about 80 degrees. Seriously, everyone was sweating buckets and someone even tried to open the emergency exit door to get a little air in there. So that, combined with the fact that I ordered duck (because I love me a good duck) and it came out awful (dry, overcooked, hard to cut, and the fat wasn't crisp)...it was a disaster. I felt awful. Poor Bryce was beside himself that the evening was such a bust. There was nothing to do but go home early and go straight to bed.
However, in the morning I felt MUCH better (and so did he). We got up early, since we'd gone to bed at 8:30, and headed out to the Sapsucker Woods Bird Sanctuary. My goodness that is a beautiful place. We saw a zillion birds, and I inexplicably took at least five pictures of GEESE. Canadian geese. We have those all over, but for some reason they were picture-worthy in their natural, swampy habitat. It was a fun walk, although we heard bullfrogs. IN MAY. I don't think those are supposed to be much more than tadpoles in May! It's been so hot they must be on speed development or something. Very strange and disconcerting. We took a lot of fun pictures in Sapsucker:
|Can you find the turtle?|
|The strangely-arresting-in-the-wild goose|
|I think you can actually SEE the pollen in this picture. Also,|
it was snowing apple tree blossom petals, which was really
pretty, if you could stop sneezing enough to see it.
|The elusive purple-breasted Jess. Har har.|
|A different kind of silly shot. It was so bright we couldn't see|
the screen, but that turned out kind of hilarious. Also, I
enjoy that Bryce's head looks bigger than mine. That isn't
so in real life. At all. I can eclipse him, easily.
|This is from the Stewart Street bridge looking up. See that|
line all the way at the tippy top of the tree line? THAT'S
the suspension bridge. I want super duper credit for
walking across that thing.
|Looking down from the street bridge. There is|
a man standing down there! Beautiful, but
really, really high up.
I'd say we did a good job of trying to celebrate other things this weekend though, spending quality time with Mother Nature and each other, enjoying our time just the two of us while it hopefully dwindles down to nothing. I am so grateful to Bryce, for giving me the best birthday gift of a fun experience (and a distractor from a holiday that normally throws me for a loop). I hope that your Mother's Day was filled with peace and love, and if you are waiting to celebrate, that that wait dwindles down to nothing soon as well.