Follow me on the crazy, hopeful, discouraging, funny, and ultimately successful (one way or another) path to parenthood while facing infertility.

Monday, May 11, 2015

#Microblog Mondays: Autobiography Love Letter



Six years ago or so, I proposed to Bryce via a letter: a typed manifesto on why I thought marriage was a really, really good idea for us and why we should just do it. I put a lot of heart and soul (and logic, because he's an engineer) into that letter, and it was strangely validating when it made him cry.

I think maybe that moment for him was what reading Bryce's autobiographical statement for the adoption agency was for me.

He was nervous about it, agonized for weeks, convinced it was no good, waffled between letting me read it and not letting me read it. My proposal was that we read each other's after they went out the door, so it was too late to change anything for any reason...but he decided we should read them before sending them out, in his words, "In case mine is completely awful and you hate it."

It made me cry. It told our story in the most loving way, adding in emotion that I'd actually left out of mine for the sake of being pragmatic, and was basically the longest, most beautiful love letter to our relationship and our desire to add children to our already happy home. I sobbed uncontrollably after, hugging him and sob-heaving "thank you, oh thank you, that is the most BEAUTIFUL thing I've ever read, thank you..." while he hugged me back and laughed uncomfortably because he was STILL convinced that it was no good, that I was upset, that he'd have to redo it.

It was perfect.

And the funny thing was, after we'd both read each other's autobiographical statements, we realized that our different perspectives told the same beautiful story, weaving in and out and filling in each other's gaps in a way we couldn't have planned any better.

Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!

(Obviously I struggle with brevity, so I try to keep it under 10 sentences because 7 is near impossible for me...)

8 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post! I got a little choked up reading it. I am happy for you both, especially with all of the thought and care you put into writing your stories. It sounds like one of those moments that brings you closer together with deeper intimacy. Being happy together is a good foundation. Yay!!

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    1. Thank you so much! It was definitely a great learning experience about each other, to see our different perspectives on our life together and our lives before. It was a great exercise that I think would be good for anyone. Thanks for your thoughts!

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  2. What a wonderful moment you've shared with us! I love how your two perspectives form such a loving story.

    I proposed to my guy, too. It's one of the reasons our daughter's birth mom chose us. I'm sure your story will resonate for anyone who reads yours.

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    1. Thank you so much. That is too funny! We will have to put that into our book for sure. Hooray for ladies not yielding to gender stereotypes. :)

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  3. I love it! Did you keep a copy? Maybe you should slip a copy of the letter behind a photo of the two of you. Only you will know that it is there. What a sweet secret to pass every time you walk by the photo.

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    1. We did! I have my master binder with all copies of all paperwork in it. I LOVE your idea. We could put his autobiography and my proposal letter behind a wedding picture that's 8x11, and it would be a beautiful little hidden love treasure. Such a great idea! Thank you!

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  4. I remember how agonizing adoption paperwork was. It felt so terrifying that someone could choose us based on what we said on a piece of paper. I think that is why I am a picture person, I think they show so much more.
    Good luck!

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  5. I can see why this is your favorite #Microblog Mondays post! I love the idea of hiding his autobiography and your proposal behind a wedding picture - things like this make my heart sing. Thanks for sharing such a love-filled snippet of your life.

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