In thinking about the embryos we have left, our two DS blasts and our six DE 2PNs (day one embryos), I was also thinking about the incredibly different processes for the two types of donors. For the donor eggs, we had to go through a lot of hoops (psychological evaluations! paperwork! high cost!) but ultimately ended up with very little information about our donor--just a one-page profile sheet and we'll never have any more.
In contrast, for the donor sperm, we had to fill out information in a search field on a database and then purchase the sperm. No psychological evaluations, the cost was higher than I thought but a FRACTION of the eggs, and the paperwork was minimal. And we got TONS of information on our donor--we have voice files of interviews, we have physical descriptions and childhood photos, we have questions he answered in written form, and if our child is conceived from this material and decides that he/she wants to meet this donor and have a tete-a-tete in person, once, HE OR SHE CAN DO THAT because he's an open donor.
Now, I get the difference in cost due to the difference in the process to actually, um, extract the gametes. One is an incredibly involved process involving injections and surgery and time off work, and the other involves...less hardship than that, by far.
BUT...why didn't we need a psychological evaluation for sperm? Why is it so easy to get SO MUCH information? What does that say about male contributions versus female contributions? To be honest, it makes me mad, for my husband's sake. It devalues his role, his contribution. It says sperm is less important than egg, doesn't it? That we didn't need to sit and discuss the decision with a mental health professional in order to proceed, just click "add to cart?" Shouldn't the requirements for subbing in donor gametes for either player be the same, on the recipients' end?
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