Monday, January 18, 2021

#Microblog Monday: 800!

800. This is my 800th post. That is CRAZY. It's a lot of change, a lot of reflection, and a lot of connections with people. I missed International Blog Delurking Week, but if you have been reading me and you don't normally comment, I would love for you to just say a quick hi. 

Today is also my 12th Engage-o-Versary -- it was 12 years ago on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day when I made a nice dinner, set out a lovely pinot noir, lit some candles, and greeted Bryce with a letter I'd typed up that was actually a marriage proposal. I love that I proposed and he accepted, that we did it differently to make it our own. It's also crazy that this June we will have been together 15 years. 

He actually has MLK Day off for the first time, EVER, because his company has finally decided to make it an official holiday (finally!). We have spent it doing insanely romantic things like starting to de-Christmas our house, vacuuming, and catching up on work after a more relaxing weekend, but it sure was nice to sleep in a bit and have a more leisurely morning than usual on our special day. He's making cochinita pibil tacos, which will be amazing (slow-cooked, fall-apart citrus pork! poblano tortillas! habanero-carrot sauce! pickled red onions! avocado! yumminess all the way around). They already smell AMAZING.

I think this is the year I update my blog, or change it up to a new one. I hate change, but "My Path to Mommyhood" is just not authentic to my experience anymore. I have been officially off that path for over three years, and it's time to name it something different, or start something new. I don't want to disappear, though. Any thoughts on how that works? 

I'm looking forward to this week, while also dreading the threat of violence. I hope that we can have a peaceful transition of power and enjoy having an Executive Branch that is based in empathy, compassion, science, humanity. I hope that there can be healing from what's happened in the U.S. -- the fear, the hate, the intolerance, the destruction from within. Sigh. 

I hope that I can chalk up most of January to a 2020 hangover, and we can have a 2021 that goes in more hopeful direction. 


Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!


21 comments:

  1. Happy 800th post, and engagement-versary!

    As far as changing your blog name, that's easy as far as I can tell: just go to settings on Blogger and change it. I don't know if the URL will change, but the title can be changed to anything. or you can easily make a new blog attached to this account. I now have three blogs attached to the torthuil identity. lol.

    Enjoy your dinner...sounds amazing!

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    1. Thank you! That pork is soooo good. Aha, I could keep my identity and start a new project, interesting! I hate change, but this is a good one. Thanks for the tip!

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    2. Jess, I don’t know if you’ll get this but I appreciated your invitation to ‘unlurk.’ This blog has saved me, a few times, during the four awful years when we went through at least some of the things you went through. I didn’t know anyone in person going through it so your blog, and a few others, made me feel like I wasn’t alone in it. So funny I should come here today after at least a year or two away. I had a hunch that my friend would announce her pregnancy on FB this week. I’m never on FB but I went there to prepare myself for when we’re next in touch in real life. And some small part of me is always like, I gave up too early. She’s 45, why did I give up? Because it was killing me, of course. And i am at peace, and 99 days out of 100 I understand how good I have it. But then every once in a while I need some company in feeling irrationally sad. So thanks for being here for that. I feel like I know you! We love Acadia too. Kristin

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    3. I did get it! Thank you so much for your comment, I'm so glad that my story has been helpful to you. I agree with you, 99/100 it's good, but that 1% can be a killer. Maybe one day we will be in Acadia at the same time! Thank you for delurking, I am glad to know you indirectly! :)

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  2. Delurking...I enjoy reading your blog!

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  3. Congrats on your bloggy milestone and also on your engagoversary!

    I'm eager to see your emerging and authentic experience manifest here on your blog in 2021. I guess you pick a new name and run with it (disclosure: changing a blog name was, for me, a lot of work. And worth it.)

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    1. Thank you! I fear the unknown of a new name/new blog. But I think it can transition okay... Now to pick one!

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  4. Congratulations on 800 (!!) posts! That's a lot of great writing (and reading, for us!). I agree with Torthuil, I think you can just go into your settings & change the blog name... although your URL might/probably will remain the same? You could always start an entirely new blog, but it's nice to have the continuity and all your posts in one place too. I know some people who moved their Blogger blogs over to WordPress, but that can be a real pain to do. Whatever you do, keep writing! (I will be here to read!)

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    1. Thank you! Oh man, I think to try a new platform would be too much. I've seen people do it, but yeesh. I will figure this things out, but I'm glad to have you to help! And to read however it ends up, ha.

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  5. 800 fabulous posts - congratulations! I feel so privileged to have been here to witness some of your journey.

    I am glad you are ready to embrace a new identity for your blog - talking about your future, rather than your past. I think the easiest would be just to start a new blog, do a final post here redirecting users to the new blog. I visited a blog recently which had done that some years ago (I'd forgotten their new blog name) and still managed to find their most recent post.

    You can also export all your posts from this blog to another Blogger (blogspot) address, if you wanted to keep everything together. (I just did a search on migrate blog posts from one blog to another). Or you could (I assume) export only some of the posts if you instead wanted to leave your infertility posts here, and start anew when you ended your adoption efforts. And then you could use Blogger's Custom Redirect feature on blogspot (it's in settings) to send every search for mypathtomommyhood to your new blog with its shiny new name. Sounds reasonably simple. I hope it is!

    PS. I think I want the recipe for the slow-cooked citrus pork etc. Drool!

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    1. I am so glad to have people keep you to help point me towards ways I can make this scary and belated change. That really shouldn't be so scary. Thank you for your tips and your kind words! Also I will send you a picture of the recipe. Yummmmm.

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  6. Happy 800! What about keeping part of the blog name and tweaking it as a nod to the past, present, and future? Like My Path to Asskickary.

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    1. Oooh, you've got be thinking! Like that idea of continuity in the name. Oooh, My Path To Asskickary is amazing, but may lead people to think I am some sort of mixed martial arts star, which might be fun... Ha! Thank you!

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  7. Can’t wait to keep reading under a new name but with your same honesty. Congrats on the 800!

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    1. Thank you! Oh yes, honesty for sure. Thank you so much, new links coming soon, I nailed down a name and url. :)

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  8. Happy 800th post AND your Engage-o-versy! I like Mel's suggestion of My Path to Asskickary- even if people confuse you with a martial arts star. :-)

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    1. Thank you so much! I do love My Path to Asskickary, but I went with something a little less salty, ha! I did follow her thoughts though on keeping some continuity. I'm excited to get going on it, first steps are done! :)

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  9. Jess, I don’t know if you’ll get this but I appreciated your invitation to ‘unlurk.’ This blog has saved me, a few times, during the four awful years when we went through at least some of the things you went through. I didn’t know anyone who was going through this ‘in real life’ so you, and a few others, made me feel not alone in it. I always appreciated your voice, it really resonated with me (and we love Acadia too). How funny that I should come today after a year or two away. I had a hunch my friend would announce her pregnancy on FB today. I’m not usually on FB but I wanted to prepare myself to be joyous (or at least fake joy) when I see her. Funny that after all this time my first thought is, she’s 45. Why was it never me? And, I quit too soon. 99 days out of 100 I’m at peace and know how good I have it. But I appreciate knowing that someone understands the 100th irrationally sad day. Thanks for being here. Kristin

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    1. Thank you so much for delurking! I'm glad my story has been helpful, especially because others' stories helped me, and so to return the support is so meaningful to me. I'm sorry your friend announced a pregnancy, and there's that tiny voice that maybe it could have gone another way. The logical knowing that you did what you needed to for your health and sanity can be overshadowed by the gut punch in those moments. I had one today myself. Sending you love and glad we kinda sorta know each other! :)

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    2. Jess, Thanks so much - what a kind reply, sounds just like all your posts. Clearly I (eventually, after two duplicate tries) figured out this-here-commenting-reply-space-thingy. I'm glad I figured it out. And when travel is a thing again, if you come through Maine, let us know. We are on the way to Acadia. From most places in the US, anyway. And, I hope your gut punch is working itself through. It took me about 24 hours last week. Which is great, because it used to take so much longer! Kristin

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