When I was twelve and got my period for the first time, my mom baked me a cake. No, not red velvet (although that would have been hilarious), but my favorite at the time -- white cake with vanilla Pillsbury frosting. She called it a January Cake, so that the secret was ours, but the message was clear -- this was something to be celebrated.
It set up womanhood as a concept to be treasured, but also tied womanhood to my uterus and celebrated my newfound ability to become a mother (hopefully far in the future).
Loribeth's post about maybe, MAYBE finally hitting the end of this stage of supposed fertility, of hopefully being in menopause, reminded me of this cake and the idea of celebrating reproductive functioning. We should have farewell parties for that, too -- a sort of bon voyage to the idea of having been fertile, or in my case the big lie that arrived infrequently until the Pill masked the dysfunction.
It could be funny, or sentimental, or vengeful... All depending on your circumstances. I regret not having a goodbye party for my lining when I had my surgery almost 2 years ago, although I'm not in menopause. So there's still time to have a farewell party, with cake (gluten free this time), and tell no one who's leaving!
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I reverse Moon Party!! Definitely needs celebration and a cake (maybe devil foods or a chocolate torte?).
ReplyDeleteMmmmmm, perfect cake!
DeleteWhat a great idea.
ReplyDeleteI like this idea, too. A change is a change. And while we as a culture aren't great yet at menarche (unlike you and your mom), we are even worse at the other end. It is a life change that should be marked and celebrated. Cristy is on to something.
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I think menarche is getting better (I'm hearing more about period parties), but menopause gets nothing but jokes. And another reason for cake isn't a bad thing!
DeleteMy mum was terrible at preparing us for anything 'embarrassing' so she didn't mention periods to me at all - I learnt about it at school. She told her two daughters about nothing. I waited at least six months before I told her mine had started - I didn't use any 'embarrassing' words, I just waved a bag of pads at her and said 'I need one of these' (I had considered long and hard how to avoid using any period vocabulary..). I remember clearly that I felt no need or desire to tell her - I was buying my own protection with my pocket money. But I felt pity and a bit of condescension for her and decided that I had to tell her - I assumed that mothers have to be told these things. She wrote the wrong date in her diary: "X started p", she wrote. I still feel sorry for her that she couldn't prepare us for it - considering how young she was (33ish, and it was the 80s) - but it made me very resilient I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAny excuse for a party is a good one, but I really like this idea. So much is tied up in menstruation, and so many women feel shame that I love the idea of making it a positive thing - both starting and ending that period in your life (pun intended. Sorry, couldn't resist!).
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea!
ReplyDeleteI love this. I can't imagine celebrating the arrival of AF, but how I wish I could. To think that young women wouldn't be afraid, or embarrassed, but could talk openly about menstruation. How wonderful that would be.
ReplyDeleteAwww Jess, I love that your mom made you a January cake. That’s actually really sweet. I never thought to do anything like that.
ReplyDeleteBut I do agree that celebrating being done with periods should definitely be a thing. Good riddance AF!! Lol
You had me at cake!
ReplyDelete:-)