Well, the phone rang on January 5th, and we received our very first profile opportunity.
I was woefully underprepared...I hadn't printed the form, I didn't even have pants on when I rushed downstairs to get a notebook (I had come home from school right after dismissal due to a migraine and gone to bed, who wears pants to bed?), and I was freezing. But I was SO EXCITED to get a call (migraine? what migraine?).
We agreed that it was a profile opportunity we'd go for, so after talking to Bryce we called back and said, "Yes! Put us in the mix!"
The expectant mother picked up the books the next day, and we waited.
And waited and waited, and every little time period that passed was a teensy tiny victory --
- we made it past picking up the books (what if she left books behind that she just didn't like the look of and we were out right from the start?)
- we made it past a weekend
- we made it past TWO weekends
And then...we got the followup call on this past Friday, just over two weeks since our books had been in her possession...my heart in my throat, unsure what to expect.
We weren't chosen.
I was really surprised at how I felt -- disappointed, for sure, but not devastated. This wasn't our baby.
I did ask if they could tell me anything about why we weren't picked, or why the family who was picked "won out," and they said that all they could tell me was that she felt the family she picked reminded her of her own family.
Well, not much we can do about that.
I have no idea how many other books were in the mix--strangely, I didn't feel that would make a difference in knowing. If only one book is to be chosen in the end, what does it matter if it was out of three or out of nine? I just wanted to know that someone had our book in their hands and was looking it over, deciding whether or not we were THE parents for her unborn child.
There it was -- our first profile opportunity, come and gone, complete with a two week waiting period where we managed NOT to go crazy (although I definitely turned it over in my head a hell of a lot more than Bryce). We went into it knowing it could mean everything, or it could mean nothing.
But it didn't quite mean nothing. We are profile-able. We CAN get calls. We WILL get another call. And maybe it will be THE call. I can at least hope that I will have printed the form (which I still haven't done) I will have pants on, and I will know a little better what to expect.