I had my mother over for lunch today, and made us some very tasty smoked salmon omelettes (cheating and using the T.rader Joe's Feta Cheese Spread instead of a cheesy concoction of my own... and it was DELICIOUS), a salad with blueberries I picked Saturday with a friend, and a blueberry cake from a Maine cookbook (again with the blueberries I picked, because there's 5 juicy pounds in the fridge so they have to go SOMEWHERE yummy).
She asked if she could see our profile book, and since it was approved and it shipped today, I decided I would share, in part because I'm ridiculously proud of the damn thing. Also, it was kind of like not sharing a baby name until it's on the birth certificate, -- that baby is born and named, and it's too late to change anything so there's no point sharing any negative thoughts because the deed is done...it's out there.
But she loved it.
And later in the day, she sent me a text, and in addition to thanking me for tasty vittles and good conversation, she said, "It's great to see you so happy."
And I AM HAPPY -- not that I've been utterly miserable up until now, but we've just had such a rough go of things for what seems like forever. I think most of the last four years of our fertility treatment journey was steeped in such misery, such failure, such physical and emotional pain, such a dearth of good news, ever...and it's not that way anymore.
Because adoption, that makes me happy, and there is such a marked difference in how this process has treated us versus infertility treatment, in how smoothly and swiftly things have gone up until this point, at least (time to go knock on some serious wood).
I feel so hopeful, so full of anticipation, so excited for all that's to come, whenever that comes to fruition. And having the profile book done, that makes me happy, too, because now all of our efforts go from preparing paperwork to preparing for a baby (pediatrician interviews! daycare interviews! registering for baby stuff! buying a crib and making up a low-key nursery! reading about how to help newborns sleep better!).
And that, that brings a big fat smile to my face.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
So happy to hear things have gone in such a positive direction. I'll do some wood-knocking on your behalf as well. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'll take it! I'm always a little afraid to be too happy, you know? Life has done a good job of teaching me that that can change at a moment's notice. So far so good though! May the wood knocking be enough! :)
DeleteThis is lovely. How great to hear that the adoption process is going smoothly and that the profile book, which initially gave you such stress, is now a source of pride. I'm sure it's a beautiful book! it's a very good feeling to have the conviction that you are on the right path.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It is. It's so freeing to realize that this path is SO MUCH BETTER than where we've been, and that we can kind of relax into the process. I think having been where we were, and experienced all the awfulness that infertility treatment had to offer, that we have a pretty healthy perspective on adoption. I'm much more open to taking things as they come here, and relinquishing (some) control. The book was stressful, but that stress fueled the work on it, and I am so glad that it is done and we can be happy with it and see where it takes us. Thank you!
DeleteAnd now I've got a big fat smile on my face, too. Congrats on finalizing an awesome profile! Such a big step forward. And toward something. Wow.
ReplyDeleteThanks! It was the last step and so felt really super momentous. Maybe that's in part why it was such an emotional undertaking and so stressful, but once that groove was found it went really well. I love that, a step forward, and toward something. SO EXCITING!!! Thanks for smiling with me!
DeleteWow! That does sound happiness Jess. Stay blessed. You look beautiful in that new photo :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, on all counts! It is a beautiful thing to be at peace and happy for the future, which seems so promising.
DeleteGlad that the profile book is done - what a huge step! Happy for you and hoping for the future.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It does feel like a huge step... straight into the future. :)
DeleteSo glad for you both! How long did it take from when you choose your agency until you went live? I've heard six months as an average but I can't quite figure out what (other than the book and home study) are being done in that six months to make it take so long...
ReplyDeleteGreat questions! I am actually going to do my next post to answer your question, because there are so many moving parts in adoption and I don't think I can fit it in a comment reply. Stay tuned... I'll tell you exactly why it took just over 5 months. (Glad to be in that under 6 months average, because I'm a nerd, but it can go faster, actually.) Thanks for your thoughts!
DeleteSmiling from this post. Congratulations on finishing your profile book!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I can breathe again and the eye twitch is OFFICIALLY gone! :)
DeleteHuge sigh of relief. I was nervous with the lead-up, but I'm glad she liked it. And why shouldn't she? It's like your heart in book form. You put yourself onto the pages.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I was nervous, too... it was a little nerve-wracking showing it to family. I love that, it's like my heart in book form. Thank you for the relief!
DeleteI love your enthusiasm and energy and happiness that is bursting from the screen as I read this. Hope is a wonderful thing.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I feel like maybe I can make friends with hope again. :)
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