It was all about her handling of the coronavirus, and how they were able to curb the virus effectively, going from 430+ cases per day to an average of 60.
I enjoyed the interview... until the end.
Ailsa Chang asks Governor Raimondo about whether she thinks the fact that her team of government and health officials were entirely women was a factor in the state's success. Which sounds like an interesting question and like it should appeal to my feminist self.
But, the answer was ruined.
Governor Raimondo says, "it is true that Rhode Island's COVID response is being led by women, and by the way a diverse group of women." So far, so good! I smiled and nodded in my car.
"Now, I guess I would say this: We're all moms, and you know, being mothers maybe makes us a bit more empathetic but it makes us a whole lot more practical. It's just, 'okay, what's the problem, what's the plan, let's get to work' -- like come on, ladies! Let's get the job done for people!"
So, I have to admit, when I heard it the first time in the car I misunderstood and thought that she was saying that ALL women are moms, and that filled me with the fury of a thousand murder hornets. BUT, when I re-listened it to write this post, I realized she meant that all the women working with her are moms.
Either way, the "maybe makes us a bit more empathetic but it makes us a whole lot more practical" part made me swear and flip off the radio in my car so that I looked like an utter lunatic to the unfortunate people on the road with me. MOTHERHOOD DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE CORNER ON EMPATHY AND PRACTICALITY. Hell, womanhood does not give you the corner on empathy and practicality. I hate hate hate hate those kinds of statements.
Statements like, "Well, I just care more about the future because I'm a mom." Um, maybe you care more about your specific child's future because you're a mom, but that doesn't mean that only moms can have a stake in the future or worry for the sake of all future generations. It comes up all the time in political races (usually in other countries, sigh) where women candidates pitted against each other pull out the "As a mom" arsenal to discredit childless opponents. I can't remember who or when it was, but I was again in my car swearing and flipping off the radio because I heard a woman running for office in another country who criticized the other candidate's stake in the future because she didn't have children. It's rampant and ugly and sets women upon each other, which isn't helpful.
This post was in my drafts when I read Loribeth at The Road Less Traveled's post on the "mom" thing and activism. It reminded me of the irritation I have at the "Mom thing" in politics in general. And even in teaching... I know I've mentioned this before, but NOTHING drives me crazier than teachers who state their claim to expertise in parent meetings with sentences that start "As a mom...." In one particular meeting it took all my self-control not to say "YOUR CHILDREN ARE UNDER 5! What relevance does this have to an 8th grader situation?" But I didn't. Sometimes it IS relevant, like if the teacher had a child who had a similar issue at a similar age. But otherwise it takes away from the fact that your expertise as a teacher comes from your experiences...AS A TEACHER. It is totally possible to be an empathetic, practical, organized teacher and not also be a parent. And if you aren't a parent, it suddenly makes it seem like you have less expertise somehow. Pffffft.
Anyway, it stuck like a splinter in the bottom of my foot and left me all irritated. I really wish people would stop using motherhood as a sort of universal sainthood that elevates you above the rest of us selfish, lazy, unorganized masses. (note heavy sarcasm)
Oh this. Infuriating. I hate it too. With a burning passion.
ReplyDeleteI have to remind myself that it may be true for the people that say it--maybe they themselves *are* more empathetic since they had children and now they're (inaccurately) generalizing this experience to everyone's reality.
Thinking like that doesn't change other people's perceptions, but it does help me survive in this asinine world. Ultimately, I know deep in my bones that you don't need to be a mother to be caring, understanding, nurturing, and empathetic. I also know that being a mother doesn't automatically guarantee these attributes either.
This, so much THIS.
ReplyDeleteAnd how some folks (usually women) are so dismissive of folks (usually women) who don't have children.
I am not surprised your were left all irritated. It infuriates me too.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as an "independent" observer, what I've noticed is that parents tend to think about the future often SOLELY in terms of their own children. It is a very selfish view of the future - they want it to be okay for THEIR kids (sorry for all the all caps BUT ... lol), but are less bothered about other people's kids.
Ugh, ugh, UGH. No, being a mother definitely does NOT give a person the corner on empathy, activism, or awesomeness. It's infuriating that this particular trope continues to be trotted out.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes. First, the assumption that "we're all moms" (ummm, no, we're not...) and second, that being a mom somehow elevates you to a higher moral status. Sometimes, maybe, but not necessarily.
ReplyDeleteI am just waiting for someone to skewer Kamala Harris because she is "only" a stepmother and doesn't have any kids of her own. :p
A delayed response but a big hell yeah to this one... And as we get into the political season when they pander to all the "middle class working families" because the rest of us don't mean squat.
ReplyDelete