Monday, February 5, 2018

#Microblog Mondays: A Letter to My PCOS

Dear PCOS,

I really don't have anything nice to say to you right now. I knew when you became my infertility diagnosis that infertility wasn't the only thing you could screw me on, but I was kinda sorta hoping that maybe with the whole being-wildly-unsuccessful-at-reproduction you'd leave me alone for the most part. I mean, yes I spend money every 5-6 weeks to wax my face (not just a little fuzz mustache, but also chops that left to their natural state could have me mistaken for Wolverine...), and for some reason since hitting 40 the occasional chin hair to pluck has become a plague of plucking multiple times per week (and I refuse at this point to add "chin" to the "lip-cheek" waxing appointment, I am NOT there yet!), and yes the extra chub I've always carried in my midsection just keeps growing and growing... but I could do without this latest health nonsense you've gifted me with.

My doctor didn't find gallstones when he ordered the abdominal ultrasound, but something else, unrelated to the horrible public diarrhea attack, made itself known.

Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease.

I mean, at first I was like, "great, now even my LIVER is fat," but then further discussion (and research on my part) made it clear it's a concern and not a punchline -- and I need to address it ASAP. The biggest thing is I need to lose 15-20 pounds (not exactly a newsflash, but still an ouch to hear it's a MUST).

Oh, yes, because I don't have an endocrine disorder that makes shedding pounds really, really difficult, right? Damn you, PCOS. Why am I blaming you? Because when I looked it up on a whim, thinking, "hmmm, I wonder if fatty liver and PCOS are linked," I found that between 10% -55% of women with fatty liver ALSO have PCOS. Oh, and one study found that 67% of the participants who had PCOS (half of the 100 studied) had fatty liver, too. FUN FACT: Celiac is also a risk factor for fatty liver, and apparently 4% of people with celiac have fatty liver as the only manifestation. Weird. And real unlucky for me.

Anyway, back to you, my fat furry infertile disorder... I am just so pissed. It wasn't enough to mess up my ovulation and compromise my lining and make me more prone to polyps (and gift me with pleasant plumpness). You have to give me something that's a precursor to diabetes according to my doctor, and possible liver inflammation, scarring, and failure according to various web sources.

Luckily, I can make a plan and execute it, even though it's going to be HARD to lose significant poundage in my 40s, with PCOS, and an already limited diet, when I already don't eat a lot of sugar, no soda, no fast food, not a lot of processed things at all. Seems kind of unfair if you ask me. I know an awful lot of people who eat far crappier than I do and (to my knowledge at least) don't have this fun challenge.

So, thanks a million, PCOS, I can only hope that with the plan (to be posted about following this one) I'm putting into place I can give much of your nastiness the boot.

Not at all cordially,

Jess

Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy! 

23 comments:

  1. Argh! So frustrating!

    Your letter was much more civil than mine would've been though. XD

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    1. Thanks, lady. I was trying to keep it clean, but when talking about it today there were a whole lot of words that rhyme with "ducking."

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  2. Yes, PCOS is the worst. Thank you for sharing these other conditions to watch out for. I did not know of all of these. Sigh, more to watch out for as I age.

    I did want to mention that I started taking inositol (4000mg a day) and it has really helped me with PCOS symptoms. It took about 6 months but it helped lower my triglycerides, reduced my hair loss on scalp and has made it easier to loose weight. I was a total skeptic when I started to take it, but surprised how much it has helped me. Thought I would pass it on to you or your readers.

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    1. It's amazing to me how much crap can be traced to PCOS. I looked up inositol -- that looks promising! Is it prescribed to you or do you take it over the counter? I am considering consulting with a naturopath as well, because, why not. Thanks for the info!

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    1. Big pile of damn, yes. Pfffftttttt PCOS.

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  4. Oh for the love!!! Growling for you.

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    1. So much growling. I don't know if I'm yelling "uncle" loud enough... :)

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  5. Oh no! I'm glad that you have a diagnosis for what is going on, but boooo to the actual diagnosis! Time to kick some liver disease ass!

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    1. Thanks so much! Yes, boooooo indeed! So annoyed. Let the weight losing battle commence!

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  6. You can do this. You are one tough lady. You've been through so much...But you can do this. Love you!

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    1. Thank you! Never a boring moment. Grrrr.

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  7. Oh Jess, that sucks. That really sucks. It's so hard to make peace with your body when it feels like the enemy. I hope the weight loss is easier than expected (yeah, right, I know), and that you can avoid any more PCOS side effects and complications. Sending hugs.

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    1. Thank you -- it totally feels like my body is this insidious enemy, just plotting the next twist. Grrrr. Well, maybe if I lose this weight some of the other things will subside as well. A girl can hope, right?

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  8. I am sorry to read this. I believe in you. I believe in your capacity to deal with it emotionally and I believe in the unexplainable wonders of physiology and that you will meet your goals. I also believe that the universe owes you a damn break. Do you have an email address where I can message you privately? Or, if you want (no pressure!) you can email me. I have a g.mail account with my blog name as my user name (both words). Thinking of you. And does it sound weird that I'm looking forward to reading your plan? <3

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    1. I will email you! And yeah, I would love that freaking break. I mean, I guess there's worse curveballs the Universe could lob at me, but SERIOUSLY, enough. The plan is going up tonight! Thanks for the belief, I appreciate it!

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  9. Ugh, that is awful. I’m sorry that PCOS just keeps giving and giving, and not anything you want. Sending hope that you can heal and come out stronger than before, again

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    1. Thank you... it really is a gift that keeps on giving in all the wrong ways. I am going to be made of steel soon if life keeps giving me reasons to be strong... :(

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  10. Aw, that sucks. (Though I don't have PCOS, in my 50s I can relate to the midriff/hair issues!)

    One of my nieces has PCOS, and a year ago embarked on a plan to change the way she eats under a nutritionist specialising in PCOS with great results. She's worked really hard, and I'm so proud of her as she's struggled with weight for years.

    Wishing you the best, too, as I know it can be hard going, but hope you get similar success.

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  11. Urgh sorry, that's such a pain. Not sure if this is helpful but when hubby and I reduced our dairy and meat intake last year for a few months after watching a vegan documentary, we ended up both losing weight without trying and our metabolism improved. Probably the dairy in particular- cheese and cream was a factor. We would cook with coconut milk for instance and had oat milk instead of cow's milk in our porridge, little changes like that. I know it must be frustrating though trying to restrict your diet even more when you already are avoiding gluten! Anyway, I hope you find something that works for you!

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  12. Ooof, so sorry to hear that. PCOS sucks so much and it's so unfair that you have to deal with another complication/side effect! Wishing you well as you gear up to battle this one and just...shaking my fist at the universe for this.

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