I went to our favorite Mexican restaurant without a bra on, thanks to my lovely new phoenix and butterflies. I'm healing up nicely, but it was awkward to be hanging out, free and loose in public. While we were wrapping up our dinner and margaritas, and I was sitting with my arms crossed in front like a makeshift bra, people we know but not well came in to celebrate a birthday, with their new baby in tow.
Please explain to me why people parade their babies around like no one has ever seen one before? I've noticed it for years, and it has to be connected to some kind of biological instinct, because the "carry, walk, and make your baby stare awkwardly at people, known and otherwise" move is a CLASSIC.
The thing is, this person knows that we weren't successful in this arena. Yet he held his (admittedly adorable) 4-month old baby and rocked him and just smiled at us like "isn't this awesome?" and DID NOT TAKE THE HINT that there's only so many minutes that you can coo and smile and wave at a baby you don't really know while your margarita is getting warm.
Finally Bryce rescued us, "Okay, well, nice to see you, enjoy your dinner, byeeee."
And sat there, and then pretended to say all the things we'd wished we could during this baby parading, this "look what I made" sort of Lion King moment:
- "Well, we're just going to go home and watch a little TV until we get tired! Then we're going to SLEEP IN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE."
- "Enjoy that daycare!"
- "I'll be thinking of you when I wake up at 3 am, and then roll back over and sleep until 8!"
A little immature? Probably. But it made us feel better for the awkward moment at the end of our yummy dinner in celebration of my lovely new tattoo baby. You didn't see me walking around exposing my shoulder to everyone in quite the same way, did you? Ha.
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OK, so I was sucked in at your first sentence and laughing! But yes, a tattoo makes much more sense than when I last went braless to a restaurant. (Lazy. And it was winter and I could wear a sweatshirt and no one was the wiser.)
ReplyDeleteLove the tattoo! And hey, I've done PLENTY of things that made me feel better. Total survival mode. I hope you at least enjoyed some delicious Mexican.
Ha! I HATE going braless (instead of feeling that AHHHH feeling people say they have, I just feel floppy and gravity-pulled). This was a special occasion! Thanks for the tattoo love, it makes me so happy. Even though it went from painful to unbearably itchy. Now it is on the downswing... thank goodness! I did enjoy delicious Mexican along with my survival snark. :)
DeleteI'm sorry your lovely dinner to celebrate the tattoo was intruded upon in such a manner. Love the responses you and Bryce came up with, those are great. Also, that tattoo deserves parading, it's gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteHa! Thank you. Maybe I will get a backless number to parade my tattoo around in... :)
DeleteHaha I've been tempted in the past to make comments like that to friends with kids when it all got too much too! I'd feel like mentioning that I had slept in that morning after a good night's sleep and then had a relaxing morning making pancakes with hubby. Hope you had a nice dinner
ReplyDeleteSo hard not to think up those one-liners, right? Glad I don't actually say them (all the time at least) but it's good coping to come up with them. It was a lovely dinner, thanks!
DeleteI've noticed this too! I think there's a switch that goes off in most people's brains when it comes to showing off their offspring. To them, they are filled with joy and cannot equate that it doesn't extend beyond them. Kinda like dealing with those newly in love and engaging in a lot of PDA.
ReplyDeleteI think Bryce handled the situation beautifully. And the comments are completely justified. After all, you're healing. Though I also kinda wish you had showed them your new tattoo. Outside of being awesome, it would have given the baby something worthwhile to be forced to stare at. And, you know, tattoos have this way of snapping people out of their "me" zone.
Oh, perfect comparison! That "you surely want to see us suck face, right? YOUNG LOVE!" thing is the same thing.
DeleteIt would have been awesome (if a little weird) to show them the tattoo, like, "oh yeah, look what I made!" Thank you for the idea, maybe next time! :)
Ugh, how annoying. Don't you wish we could say all the things we THINK about saying in our heads? But we're all so polite. "Civilised society" has a lot to answer for! lol
ReplyDeleteI'm not so afraid these days, after the obligatory comment over the baby (I've never been a coo-er, thankfully), to just say, "okay ..." and let an awkward gap develop! Then it's up to them to fill it, or decide to make an exit.
One day I will not be so polite and it will probably go horribly wrong... :) Yeah, even being a coo-er there was that awkward silence which then Bryce filled with the byeeee. Jeezum. No social skills apparently.
DeleteThose are fantastic comebacks, even if they don't ever leave your mouth. That'll show him!
ReplyDeleteI know that classic move. I just don't know WHY that classic move.
Ha, thanks! If only at least ONE could have left my mouth... It has to be biology. Some sort of furthering-the-species thing. Right? Or maybe some sense of accomplishment in the same vein?
DeleteSome people. Hmpf.
ReplyDeleteYay Bryce.
HMMMF indeed! Yup, that Bryce is a good egg. :)
DeleteYou WOULD run into someone you know the ONE time you go without a bra and are feeling self-conscious, right??! And they just WOULD have a baby in tow...! I think the "survival snark" (love that term!) was perfectly justified here. Glad you still enjoyed your nice dinner out!
ReplyDelete