Monday, February 27, 2017
#Microblog Mondays: Embryo Silence
Over the school break, I called the Snowflakes program for an update on the frozen embryos formerly known as ours who had traveled to the receiving couple's clinic way back in September.
I had called in December about status -- was there a transfer planned? How long did it usually take? When might we expect any news of any kind? -- but they had just put out a status request to the couple and hadn't heard back yet. Our contact, the one who was so wonderful through all the contracts phases and understood the difficulty of that final goodbye in shipping, was leaving for a career change and we'd have a new contact moving forward.
Since I hadn't heard back in a month and change I called. I felt a little guilty that I hadn't followed up sooner, but with our own adoption upkeep and knowing that the couple had a single embryo adopted from someone else that they'd use first, it wasn't exactly front and center.
But, the silence bugged me a bit when I had downtime at home and could stop to think about it.
So I called, and found out that these poor people have had delay after delay with the clinic (the one they are traveling across three states to use), and their transfer is scheduled for mid-to-late March...with the single embryo that doesn't originate with us.
So, it feels like we will have silence for a while on this front. If the single embryo survives the thaw (which so many do now), they will transfer it and hope for the best, but if it doesn't then ours come into play. If the cycle is negative ours come into play. But I don't wish that for them -- I hope it works with the single embryo, because who would want more disappointment and sadness for someone else just so we get to have a little closure on this front? (A very tiny selfish part of me lurking in the back of my brain, that's who.) I mean, some kind of closure would be nice, as we have absolutely none on several fronts at the moment. But, if it takes another year or two to use our frozen embryos, then that's the way it will go.
It's weird to be in a funny limbo while someone else is in a funny limbo and to us, it's third party information -- if things work out, it will be interesting but the joy will really belong to the other couple. We'll know we gave those embryos a chance and this couple a chance, and together they did what we could not, but I'm not sure there's a "Congratulations" card for you when someone else gets pregnant with the embryos you created that they will raise halfway across the country, while we're still waiting to have that match call. It's definitely not your typical Hallmark moment.
I hope the silence doesn't last long...I hope that there's news and closure for someone involved in this tangled web of family building, sooner than later.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!