Follow me on the crazy, hopeful, discouraging, funny, and ultimately successful (one way or another) path to parenthood while facing infertility.

Monday, December 19, 2016

#Microblog Mondays: Unintended Consequences



So, the cards that we sent out for the holidays were (mostly) a hit -- we got texts, facebook messages, and comments both in-person and web-based about how awesome the idea was and how great our sense of humor about the whole waiting thing is.

We also had a few, um, unexpected responses.

My assistant principal stopped me in the hall to tell me how he loved the card, but that it initially made him sad that we were still waiting, which is the complete opposite of what we wanted people to think (well, I guess we wanted it to be more joyfully ironic than out-and-out depressing). He did say he admired our attitude and that our sense of humor will serve us well, but it bummed me out a bit that he felt sadness first.

I also received a card from family friends I haven't seen in a quite a while (after they'd received ours) that congratulated us on our wonderful news and asking us to let us know when the baby arrives... OH HOLY JEEZUM, do they think I'm pregnant? All of a sudden us dusting the nursery and the "Waiting" book took on another meaning that we certainly did NOT intend. I mean, I'm pretty sure we sent them a blatant "Adoption" card last year, but now I'm wondering if it didn't get there... Not quite sure how to handle that one, because maybe they just think we were matched up, but I guess time will out our circumstance, right?

I felt like the "(still a) Mystery Baby" part of our signature made it clear that we're still waiting, and I hope I don't actually look pregnant. I guess if you're not in our headspace all the time it could be easy to read into the nursery dusting not as a "Oh look! We're still waiting! Better dust everything off!" but as "Oh look! Time to clear the dust to make room for a real live baby that's actually coming!"

Oops. I think it was mostly received the way we intended, but these other reactions make me wonder if I should work on the clarity of the message if we're still in this amorphous place next year.

Then again, I hope next year is clear as a freaking bell!


Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy! 

20 comments:

  1. Whoops! Ha ha! That would not have been my first thought, but I guess I could see that. Oopsies. Well, hopefully it's obvious next year!

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    1. It's all about the headspace, apparently... I looked at the card out of context and it TOTALLY works as a coy, vague pregnancy announcement, which it is not. Oops.

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  2. I'm sorry your cards were received by some with a message other than what was intended.
    ::sigh::

    Then again, I hope next year is clear as a freaking bell! Here. Here.

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    1. Right? Wouldn't that be nice? Clear as a bell.

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  3. Oh, wow, this is like a bookend to my MM post! Sorry for the unintended consequences, but they seem mostly the product of being either dense or startled by the reality that not everyone gets a child on their timeline. (People would rather not face that, I think - easier. Too bad!) I loved your pictures, and I think this was a great approach to the holiday card.

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    1. Thank you! I feel like every year gets crazier and more elaborate, but I love the story the cards tell. Maybe love is a stronger word than I mean, but it's interesting to watch the evolution even though time stands still for us. Loved your post! And yeah, easier to believe that the "miracle" narrative happened. Argh

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  4. That's a little awkward alright! Maybe if the previous year's card had gone missing then they might not have understood. Or maybe they just think that you have been matched already. Anyway I'm sure next year's card will be totally clear! :)

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    1. I hope so! I think I'll just let this one lie. 😉

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  5. Oh yeah I suppose I can see how that can happen if they aren't in the headspace and don't have great attention to detail... We here all know the context so it's crystal clear for us.. I'm making excuses for them really. I hate when people jump to the easiest conclusion for them, without thinking for a minute or remembering what you've told them - I'm sure they did get your adoption card last year. I hope it's not too awkward for you! Gah so many landmines

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    1. Seriously! Here I thought it was clearly ironic, tongue firmly in cheek. Oh well, I guess I forget not everyone lives this with me. Ha.

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  6. Yikes! I suppose I could see someone misunderstanding if they quickly glanced at the card, but still - I thought you were pretty clear in your message. Here's to hoping next year's card doesn't leave any room for misinterpretation (in the best way possible)!

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    1. Yikes indeed! Yes, to next year. May there be a tangible tiny person here for the shoot.

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  7. Oh boy. That does sound like a somewhat awkward conversation, especially that second one! That isn't what I got from your pictures at all. It's such a great card, too. And yes, hoping your one for next year is quite clear as well!

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    1. Thank you! It's funny, if you take out knowledge of our adoption processes, it totally makes sense that other way even though it's not the case. Oh will, of their aren't close enough to share the headspace I guess it matters not, they'll figure it out eventually, ha.

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  8. It never even occurred to me, looking at it! Maybe it's a case of a person looking at too many cards, too quickly, and not really taking in the images and words?

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  9. Um, ok. Awkward. Would be nice if people clarified with you before jumping to conclusions, eh?

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    1. Right? I'll just let them figure it out. How awkward.

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  10. Whoa. I hadn't foreseen that reaction, either. Maybe headspace is a bigger factor than we thought.

    I'm with you on your last line. May it be crystal clear!

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    1. Yes... Thank you! And wow, headspace is EVERYTHING. Oh well...

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  11. Oh dear. :p People really don't read things all the way through, do they?? I agree with the Empress -- people just assume that everyone gets a baby and tune out or don't fully comprehend anything that hints au contraire. Here's to crystal clarity in 2017! (((hugs)))

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