Monday, November 7, 2016

#Microblog Mondays: A Different Context for Ultrasounds

It's weird to see your bits on a big screen and feel like you are seeing an old friend, or a frenemy as the case may be.

I had my saline sonohistogram on Saturday, and it was both surreal and highly unpleasant.

I'm not sure the ultrasound tech enjoyed my jokes...like when my ovaries (which had a surprising number of follicles clearly visible) showed up on the screen and I said, "Oh, hello, ovaries...thanks for NOTHING!"

I thought it was hilarious. I'm not sure she felt the same.

The upshot is, there is something at the top of my uterus, possibly a polyp, possibly a small fibroid, but the scarring wasn't clearly visible on the SSG.

I can tell you that the catheter and the filling up of my uterus with saline was just as shitty as it's ever been.

And then I had the extra pleasure of having two endometrial biopsies done.

Remind me again why they wouldn't give me a prescription for one valium before this procedure? It was awful. I was crampy all day Saturday and into the night. My uterus was thoroughly pissed off with me.

I get results on Wednesday. I've already been told the likely outcome will be me seeing a specialist who does hysteroscopies routinely, under anesthesia, in his office. I probably have an endocervical polyp (or a small colony, as has been the case for the past few hysteroscopies I've endured...they look like little waving aliens hanging out by my cervix, inside my uterus. It's a party I wish would disperse.). I'm a bit weirded out by whatever was causing an anomaly at the top of my uterus, where my scarring is. Maybe I can add fibroids to my list.

Anyway, it's strange to get such a close up and personal view of your ovaries and uterus and have it have absolutely nothing to do with reproducing. No frantic writing down of follicle measurements or lining thicknesses in a floral notebook. Nothing but a quest for answers for this unusual bleeding, and hopes that there's nothing nefarious happening in my nethers that have been so thoroughly traumatized for really, in the end, no good reason.

Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!


20 comments:

  1. Ugh Jess. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that torture. I honestly don't know why the norm is to NOT give any meds before the biopsy...those are fricken terrible, it's inhumane.
    I hope and pray that there is nothing too serious going on, but that you at least get answers so all the torture isn't for naught, so you can stop all the nonsense bleeding.
    Also...chuckling at your description of your cervical polyps...that was truly inspired­čśé

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    1. Thank you so much. I totally got valium before my last two HSGs, so I don't know why they couldn't give me ONE PILL to take before. Of course, they ran about 45 minutes behind schedule so it might not have been as effective. Maybe that's why. Har, har.

      I hope it's all "normal" abnormal stuff, too. Nonsense bleeding is right. So sick of this. They were like, "So some spotting?" and I was like, "Yeah, for FOUR MONTHS NOW" because I don't think they get just how long its been. ARGH. Heh, I can make just about anything look like aliens. My favorite metaphor. :)

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  2. Ugh. NO FUN. I liked your joke, FWIW. And I'm with you that one little valium was definitely called for.

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    1. Oh good, I'm glad! See, it was funny, right? And I don't get why so stingy with the valium. What difference does one make to anyone (except a VERY BIG HUMANE ONE to me?)?

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  3. I agree with Lori! The tech should have a better sense of humor, and the doc shouldn't be so stingy with the meds!!

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    1. Absolutely! Giggle a little, people. If I can do it you can, too. :) I might insist on meds if there is a next time. Plus, next time probably means hysteroscopy, so that's full on anesthesia. Much better.

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  4. Sounds like both you and the tech could have benefitted from more Valium (seriously lady, part of the job is to laugh at jokes!). Seriously, none of that sounded fun and I am impressed you threw some humor into that situation.

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    1. Right? Shouldn't you have a sense of humor when your job involves a Dildocam? It was laugh or cry. I did both, actually, when the biopsies went down.

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  5. Okay, two super important things in any kind of healthcare procedure (in my opinion, of course) are meds and humor! I thought your comment was excellent, and I hope your uterus has calmed down a bit. Sending good thoughts to you for the upcoming yuckiness in the form of further procedures.

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    1. Seriously! GIve me more of both. My uterus is pissy but not murderous, so that's an improvement. I'm so thankful the next procedure will involve anesthesia. Not excited to go under again (AGAIN!) but excited to be out of the party in my uterus.

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  6. Ha ha! I've made jokes like that and the techs never laugh either. What's up with that? I thought you were funny :)
    But really, no Valium? That sounds awful. Hoping for some quick answers for you.

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    1. Oh thanks! I thought I was funny, too! :) Yeah, it should be illegal to do endometrial biopsies without at least Valium. So not cool. I hope for answers, too! Poor Ute.

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  7. Those procedures must have been real painful. Hugs to you Jess. I remember when I pleaded my doctor to give me anesthesia before the HSG test and she refused and I was screaming at the top of my lungs during the whole procedure. I hope things turns out to be good for you when you get your reports.

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    1. Still waiting on those reports... GRRR. YEah, it was no fun. The HSG is a killer. I think it's worse than the saline test, because of the whole balloon thing that isn't a part of the SSG. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

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  8. Jess I love your writing.
    I can confirm your ovaries quip is hilarious: I never cease to wonder why medics seem unable to even crack a smile. They're uniformly humorless in my experience. Why the f can't they give you one measly Valium before this torture. I haven't come face to face with my own innards since my IVF days, and I know I need checking out, but just can't face it - laziness, reluctance; not sure what it is really.

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    1. THank you! It's funny, because some techs are great and while they probably are made a tad uncomfortable by my sense of humor, they at least give me the courtesy of a chuckle. ;) Yeah, I'm totally upset over the valium. I think I might demand it if warranted again and possibly see if my GP will prescribe the one pill. So ridiculous. Ah, innards. Don't leave them unseen too long.

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  9. Sorry for what you are having to go through. Hope the cramps are gone. I liked your humor cos with that you certainly lightened up your own mood. :) I need to learn that from you. Hugs!

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    1. Thank you! It helps tremendously to have a great sense of humor when you are facing unpleasantness. The cramps are finally gone!

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  10. You know what, I'm making a medical decision for you right now. Any future problems, you're going straight to a hysteroscopy with general anesthesia. So sorry you went through this but glad you're closer to an answer.

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    1. Oh, how I wish they would have just done that. I wish you were my doctor! :)

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