Monday, April 18, 2016
#Microblog Mondays: How Are You With The Wait?
Last week was a blur of getting back into the swing of things after my illness, complete with meetings after school just about every day, several until 6, and a weekend where Saturday was consumed by NYS test scoring trainer training (I was a Question Expert, which is a funny title) and National Board writing retreat. It was exhausting, but I am definitely back to normal, finally.
Today, at the ELA test scoring, I spent a lot of time with people I don't usually see for more than passing pleasantries in the halls or when I get together with people from other buildings...which was nice. Everyone was super interested in adoption -- the questions "How is the wait going? Where are things now?" came up a lot, which I appreciated.
So how are we doing with the wait at this moment in time?
- Well, we received our email that our homestudy is expiring in 60 days recently, which sort of set of a tizzy of conflicted emotions and stress. We have to pay the update fee and the rest of our program fee before they'll send us the forms to fill out, and they can't schedule our one update visit with our social worker until they have the forms, so all of a sudden the end of June sounded AWFULLY CLOSE. It's a necessity, and our 1 year mark is technically the end of July since that's when our profile books went out, but all of a sudden we felt like OHMYGOD IT'S BEEN A YEAR AND THIS IS NEVERENDING. So out the check went and we wait for the forms.
- BUT, I also shared that we've received 3 profile calls in 3 months, one each month January-February-March, and I'm hopeful that we'll get one April (even though this doesn't have to constitute a trend, a girl can hope). It feels better to say "not yet" when we've gotten close at least once and we are getting attention and opportunities.
- I explain that it's really hard to live in a place where this could come together in a week, or we could still be waiting next year. It's a world of extremes and no certainty of any kind. So we just kind of do the best with life as is and hope that it happens sooner than later and we're ready for the shock to the system.
- At the same time, our embryos are finally moving this week -- they are going to the cryobank connected to Snowflakes, and so that feels like the last piece in that puzzle before we're matched, so there's positive moment there. The ungodly amount of forms for this process is finally done until we have a matching contract. It was interesting when I mentioned the whole embryo adoption thing at school to a teacher I hadn't seen in a while and she looked at me like I was NUTS for handing our embryos over to someone else to get pregnant with and not doing surrogacy. I don't know why so many people think surrogacy in NY is so easy when the law is decidedly complicated, or why people don't get that not every option is right for every person. Being open means contending with people's reactions, I guess.
It is lovely to have so many people asking. I love that unlike infertility, I generally don't cry when I talk about adoption...unless someone else tears up first (like when I was showing another teacher pictures of our nursery and she totally got misty). Things are good.
Not easy, not simple, but good.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!