Mentally I have a paper bag to my mouth and my head between my knees right now, hyperventilating.
Because I started my new space. And I'm not saying this my last post on My Path to Mommyhood, mostly because I like to leave doors open (literally, I am physically incapable of closing cabinet/closet/bedroom/bathroom doors all the way, just ask Bryce), I don't want to say LAST. I'm keeping this space open.
But, the NEW (albeit still under construction) space is here, with a brand-spanking new first post:
I am excited at a new adventure. I've had support in making this move for a while, and it's just that taking the actual leap is SO HARD. I don't like to let go of things. I keep singleton socks far longer than they deserve, because I just keep holding out that the missing one will magically appear. I have underwear I bought forever ago that doesn't even fit but I can't bring myself to throw it out (some of them have cupcakes on them! Although cupcakes are probably one reason they don't fit anymore). I keep pens that have run out ink for some reason. Oh, and once upon a time I did 13 cycles of IVF, which also is indicative of my complete inability to LET THINGS GO.
So I'm going to cheat. I'm linking to Finding a Different Path here but not retiring this space. Once I figure out how to do tabs in the new space, I want to have a way to link to this space too. If that's even possible. I kind of need some blog-tech-savvy help on some of the ideas I have rattling around. It took me the better part of the day to just get a basic setup going.
I am excited to write under an umbrella that matches my authentic experience -- I've felt wrong about being known as "My Path to Mommyhood" now that it's been so long since I've actually been on that path. "Mommy" has absolutely nothing to do with me. This space holds ten+ years of my life -- unimaginable pain, joy and hope, and a resiliency that I'm so proud of. But it's time to move forward and show that I am truly embracing this path I'm on.
I write because it helps me to process, but I write for the community, too. This community has saved me time and time again and I am SO grateful to you for reading, for sharing in my pain and joy and ridiculous laughter, for helping me to feel less alone and hopefully for me to return that favor to some of you. I am excited to continue being a part of the community, just differently!
Thanks and see ya later! (Like really, please see me later, I am feeling a smidge insecure and needy about this whole change thing. A friendly comment would make me feel so much less like I'm entering into the Bermuda Triangle of blogging...)