#Microblog Mondays: A Letter to My PCOS

Dear PCOS,

I really don't have anything nice to say to you right now. I knew when you became my infertility diagnosis that infertility wasn't the only thing you could screw me on, but I was kinda sorta hoping that maybe with the whole being-wildly-unsuccessful-at-reproduction you'd leave me alone for the most part. I mean, yes I spend money every 5-6 weeks to wax my face (not just a little fuzz mustache, but also chops that left to their natural state could have me mistaken for Wolverine...), and for some reason since hitting 40 the occasional chin hair to pluck has become a plague of plucking multiple times per week (and I refuse at this point to add "chin" to the "lip-cheek" waxing appointment, I am NOT there yet!), and yes the extra chub I've always carried in my midsection just keeps growing and growing... but I could do without this latest health nonsense you've gifted me with.

My doctor didn't find gallstones when he ordered the abdominal ultrasound, but something else, unrelated to the horrible public diarrhea attack, made itself known.

Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease.

I mean, at first I was like, "great, now even my LIVER is fat," but then further discussion (and research on my part) made it clear it's a concern and not a punchline -- and I need to address it ASAP. The biggest thing is I need to lose 15-20 pounds (not exactly a newsflash, but still an ouch to hear it's a MUST).

Oh, yes, because I don't have an endocrine disorder that makes shedding pounds really, really difficult, right? Damn you, PCOS. Why am I blaming you? Because when I looked it up on a whim, thinking, "hmmm, I wonder if fatty liver and PCOS are linked," I found that between 10% -55% of women with fatty liver ALSO have PCOS. Oh, and one study found that 67% of the participants who had PCOS (half of the 100 studied) had fatty liver, too. FUN FACT: Celiac is also a risk factor for fatty liver, and apparently 4% of people with celiac have fatty liver as the only manifestation. Weird. And real unlucky for me.

Anyway, back to you, my fat furry infertile disorder... I am just so pissed. It wasn't enough to mess up my ovulation and compromise my lining and make me more prone to polyps (and gift me with pleasant plumpness). You have to give me something that's a precursor to diabetes according to my doctor, and possible liver inflammation, scarring, and failure according to various web sources.

Luckily, I can make a plan and execute it, even though it's going to be HARD to lose significant poundage in my 40s, with PCOS, and an already limited diet, when I already don't eat a lot of sugar, no soda, no fast food, not a lot of processed things at all. Seems kind of unfair if you ask me. I know an awful lot of people who eat far crappier than I do and (to my knowledge at least) don't have this fun challenge.

So, thanks a million, PCOS, I can only hope that with the plan (to be posted about following this one) I'm putting into place I can give much of your nastiness the boot.

Not at all cordially,

Jess

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