Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Uncomfortably Numb

I am hoping that having some wacky things happen this cycle is a sign that the really important thing will not be wacko. Here is my latest wackadoodle experience--the PIO shots are causing me numbness.

Not I-need-a-wheelchair-I-can't-feel-my-legs numb, like Nellie faked on Little House on the Prairie, but someone-shot-my-hips-and-thighs-full-of-Novocaine numb. Especially my left side. Down at least a third of my thigh. The other side is just the side of my hip/outer thigh but not as pervasive and rubbery-feeling. I can walk, it just feels weird.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I am getting two shots of PIO in the butt every day and then every third day I add a del Estrogen shot into the mix, so my poor hiney is hurting. But I didn't think it would end up with this bizarreness.

I called the nurse line yesterday and they had me come in (I had to miss the pep rally today, aw shucks that was a shame...) to make sure we were injecting in the right spot. Bryce was completely horrified yesterday and was convinced he's doing it wrong somehow and he will help us achieve a baby but in the process paralyze his wife. Sweet, a tad neurotic, but untrue. When they redrew the sharpie circles on my hindquarters his sticks were right in the sweet spot. They think maybe the sheer volume of oil going into my ass is putting pressure on nerves and causing the numbness.

Here's the kicker: some people have experienced this numbness FOR UP TO A YEAR. Oh wow. Will this affect my goal to have epic Birthing Legs? Will I be rubbery and doll-like throughout my hoped for pregnancy? Dear jehosaphat I hope not.

Oh, and some other lovely PIO-related news... my husband is being told he needs to be on a plane across the country for a work emergency. Tomorrow. For a week. Guess who learned how to give herself PIO today while the nurse was trying to figure out the cause of the numbness? Guess who is probably going to be using 1 inch needles in her thighs because a contortionist she is not? This lady, that's who. I am thankful it is not summertime. I am thankful that while this whole development has me in tears and I am terrified, I'm pretty sure I can gather my mettle and get the job done.

It is absolutely amazing what a person can be capable of when they are focused on a goal. Do I want to shoot myself up with an oil-based injection and long needles? HELL NO. Do I have to to get what I want, what we've fought for for four long years of this crap? YESSIREE BOB. Am I thrilled that a weeklong business trip means I'll be alone for beta? NO NO NO NO NO! Can I handle it one way or another? YES. I guess so.

I can only hope that so many mini disasters in the midst of this miracle can only mean that the most important part is going right. That nothing is easy or smooth but I will get a good news call. Anything else is just TOO MUCH TO ASK OF THIS LADY. So please, Universe, if you are going to keep the hits coming, please keep them to self-injections and weird numbness and missing husbands during an important time in our lives. Let us have the precious miracle that we do all this madness for. Pretty please.


  1. I am so sorry! Keep writing and we will keep sending support. This sounds really hard but I know you will get through it!

  2. Thanks, lady! So relieved--Bryce came home and said he refused to travel. Nervous for repercussions, but thrilled that he'll be here. Now if only I cold get rid of the numbness! ;-)

  3. I had to have a neighbor give me shots for a few nights, during one IVF cycle. But I don't think I could bear to get a beta or HPT result alone. No way.

  4. Yeah, the results day really got me. So glad he's going to be here. Of course, he'll be at work when I receive the call, but I can only hope I'll be texting him good news! Gaargh I hate beta day for all the stress... I took a half day off of school so I can have some peace around it. Or think about it more... :)

  5. Oh, can I add that PIO shots in your thigh THOROUGHLY SUCK? It was suggested that we try the thigh for a little while to see if it helps give my hips a break and helps the numbness. I think the numbness is just the new normal for a while, but I guess it's good to try not to spread it. Ow, ow, ow, the thigh is not cool.

  6. SO happy that Bryce was able to stay! Rockstar, that one. :)

    Thinking of you for your beta and sending warm positive thoughts your way!

  7. Aw, sucky suckitude. PIO---I just couldn't do it. Not after I jabbed myself in some sort of nerve cluster and sent an electric shock through my leg. Or what about the night I could barely sleep because of the soreness and had to go on an emergency run to CVS for supplies to help with the pain. I don't understand why the medical professionals don't give us more of a warning about how difficult these shots are and how sore you can get. Or numb! Poor you! You are tough. I tried stabbing my thigh one night and just couldn't do it. I ended up switching to Crinone early on, as scary as it was to change protocol mid-stream----if that's an option, maybe switch? I'm rooting for you out here.

    1. Thanks--they were going to switch me to crinone once I had a positive test. Guess that's moot now. :(