I love Seth Meyers. I think he's hilarious, and smart, and maybe even hot. I love his show, and those videos where he invites Melisandre to his wife's baby shower and Jon Snow to a dinner party and coaches them in social graces.
So I was super excited when I saw he had a Netflix comedy special called "Lobby Baby." I feel like a total tool now, but at the time that I suggested Bryce and I watch it while eating pizza on a Saturday night before we played an hour or so of ping pong, I honestly thought it was a political title.
Like, "Lobby, baby!" in terms of pushing for a political agenda in Congress. Not a total crazy thought, right?
Instead it was 90% adorable and hilarious, but 100% about his wife and then two children, and how his second child was literally born in the lobby of their apartment building. Once that story came out, I had this "Ohhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhh, I totally remember reading about that in People magazine" moment of clarity, and realized that I had willingly yet unwittingly watched an entire special on new parenthood.
I knew what I was getting myself into when I watched (both of) Ali Wong's specials while pregnant, and Amy Schumer's special while she was also pregnant.
For some reason I was caught off guard by Seth Meyers. Maybe it was because once I realized, I was feeling all well-adjusted and like, "Yeah! I can watch and enjoy a comedy special on parenting and babies and not feel sad! Look at us!"
Well, until this nugget was dropped:
"It's fun to be a parent, because I think in a lot of ways it makes you a better person in general because you just have more empathy; you care more about the future of the world."
It's followed up by "In other ways it makes you morally a worse person, because now there are things you would never have done before that you will do for your kids." Which is a setup for a joke about entertaining the thought of stealing a missing toy piece from his son's playmate's house, but... BUT.
I don't think he had to go there. I do not think that having children is the quality that makes you more empathetic than someone who does not, and that caring about the future is not limited to people with progeny. It makes me super prickly.
Also, at one point he talks about how he and his wife don't like to hang out with couples who have just one kid, because they're too uptight (not having the other kids to mellow them out), and parents of two kids is just too much... but he loves hanging out with parents of 3 or more kids because they are super relaxed and don't worry at all about bangs or sounds in the other room. Which is funny, but also left out "people with no kids" entirely. I mean, I get it, as new parents you want to hang out with people who have similar experiences as you, but people with no kids being mentioned not at all sort of left me feeling icky.
I get it. It's a comedy special, ha ha ha, don't take things so seriously, blah blah blah. I won't lose any sleep over it. But I will say that it knocked Seth down a few notches in my regard. (He's still hot, though.)
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I had exactly the same reaction when Jon Stewart made that comment about there being a bigger divide between people with kids and people without than between red and blue states. He didn't have to go there. Neither did Seth. At least he qualified it about the selfish thoughts he has. But still ... I will also see him in a different, dimmer light.
ReplyDeletePeople really don't think when they say things like this. It sounds so smug and self-congratulatory and even stupid, when you think about it. Argh.
I get that when people are newly into something, it’s where their material comes from. But sometimes it’s too much. And I watch comedy for the laughs, not for it to be triggering. I want to escape all the b.s. not be in it. So I feel ya there, especially when you didn’t realize what the show was going to be about...can I tell you I tend to watch stuff ALL THE TIME that I assume is going to be one way, and it turns out to be so very different in a not good way...UGH. Most recently I went to a comedy show of someone I love and who’s work I adore, but she’s newly pregnant and so the show was so heavy on the pregnancy/birth/baby stuff that I left feeling a little let down. Like, some stuff was funny, but it was JUST TOO MUCH. And I couldn’t help but think during the show how alienating that must have felt to a large part of the audience. So yeah, I get it. I’m sorry that it wasn’t the show that you were expecting. I think that comment about parenting making you more emphatic is bullshit, for the record. I can’t tell you how often I see people that use parenting or having kids as an excuse to just be so utterly selfish because they think they deserve it or some shit and it really makes my blood boil. On the flip side, some of the most compassionate people I know don’t have kids. So I disagree with his blanket statement, and will definitely be skipping this special.
ReplyDeleteI wish when parents made those types of comments, they owned their own bullshit. As in, instead of saying "being a parent makes you more empathetic," I wish they would have some self-awareness and say "being a parent made ME more empathetic."
ReplyDeleteI’m not a Seth Meyers fan (cut the cable to the TV years ago, so I don’t have much reference), so I’m unable to speak about him as a person, but I have found that people who tend to make these comments about subsections of society being more (insert positivity here) are actually revealing that THEY are more (insert positivity here), meaning that they’ve realized they previously weren’t. And I would argue still are not. I’m also willing to bet Mr. Meyer is still dealing with the guilt around having a child born in the lobby of his apartment building, hence he’s inclined to make more asshole type comments (frankly, I hope he never gets to live that one down).
ReplyDeleteWhy would he have guilt over where his hold was born?? You can’t exactly help these things sometimes!! There was a picture online (after I read Jess’ post I saw it) of them all smiling in the lobby right after, EMTs and all.
DeleteThat comment about the empathy and future of the world is just stupid. I guess it says more about him. I cared just as much about the future of the world before having my daughter. I would argue that going through infertility/loss increases your empathy. There are plenty of childfree/childless couples with more empathy than parents.
ReplyDeleteYowza. I woulda been gobsmacked just like you, as I, too, though "lobby" was meant in the political rather than literal way.
ReplyDeleteWhy do people feel the need to go all hierarchy? The more-than (better)/less-than (worse) automatically disses a entire portion of an audience.
On another note: "Nortwesteros -- go 'Cats!" hahahahahaha!
OUCH. That's such a crappy comment for him to make - I get pretty prickly as well about the whole "being a parent makes you MORE (insert good quality here)." It's totally untrue - some of the loveliest people I know don't have children. Being a parent is not the deciding factor of any quality.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hate getting ambushed like that, when you think you're going to be watching one thing & it turns out to be something totally different than what you expected. And I hate the idea that becoming a parent will make you a better person. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
ReplyDelete