I think what makes me sad is that women feel that they can't present their authentic selves -- that fine lines need to be erased, any signs of actual aging whisked away with a blurring tool. And what makes me sadder is that people tend to compliment others on these altered posts -- "You look amazing!" or "Beautiful!" or "Wow, you don't age at all!" UM, THAT'S BECAUSE THE EVIDENCE OF TIME HAS BEEN DISAPPEARED WITH MY MOUSE. And it reinforces that a woman (because I have yet to see a photoshopped man) is more beautiful when your hairline is fuzzed out because you smoothed out your face of all your history, while I think history is what makes you beautiful.
I wear makeup -- nothing crazy, no contouring or lash extensions, but I can't imagine going beyond enhancing what's there to actually altering a picture of myself to make me look younger or different. Tilting a smartphone camera to take from above a bit more for the sake of the jawline...sure, but everyone knows that trick and the background of your photo gives it away (what, more floor than wall? HUH, weird.).
I decided, along with a lot of people lately, to stop dyeing my hair (for a while at least), setting the silver free. I'm curious just how much I have, and I'm enjoying the silvery "highlights" at my temples (random wiry grays around my part, not quite as much). So that goes with authenticity, but is not to say that I wouldn't go back to dyeing if I decide that maybe it's a bit too much silver for 42. I'm thinking though I might dye just the ends, and let the silver fly and do an ombre type thing for fun, but honestly I am enjoying not having a colorist salon bill.
But, at the same time, I do get facials from time to time in the name of self care and attempting to avoid the dreaded Crepe Neck, and this last time I was snookered into doing a chemical peel. Which sounds horrific and terrifying and medieval, but it was just like having multiple layers of toner put on and exfoliating the crap out of my outer layers of skin. Is that cheating? Is it weird to embrace the gray hair but try to stave off evidence in my skin?
I don't think so, but tonight I thought it was kind of funny that I am letting my hair go back to its silvery roots while peeling off my skin to look younger there. I guess what makes that different from the photoshopping is that I'm more than happy to tell you all about the various concoctions and products that are working to make my skin all (hopefully) radiant (and not just a leprosy'd mess). I would never pretend any of what I do is natural, unless I was lucky enough to come by things naturally, like all those supermodels I see in magazines (ha HA ha ha, SO REAL).
Here I am, in my silvery peeled-face glory, nary a blurring tool in sight.
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| Look! More wall than floor! Also perhaps some red wine residue on my teeth... So far, my skin is not ACTUALLY peeling. Fingers crossed. |
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| Oh dear, more ceiling than wall is DEFINITELY not the way to go. HAHAHAHAHA |
I guess what I'm getting at is that I am sad that social media rewards inauthenticity, and that it makes people want to put forth a "better" version of themselves than reality, which I don't find attractive at all. I would hope that most people would prefer beauty that's imperfect, that has laugh lines from good times and crinkles from years of good living.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
Amen to this post, beautiful Jess!!! You look amazing all natural!!
ReplyDeleteAs a teen I always passed for older, but it kind of leveled off and I look younger than my hubs and younger brother, and no one really guesses that I’m 40. Maybe it’s the immature way I act Haha.
But seriously, I SO agree with you. My own mom has had (and continues to) go the plastic surgery route, and I just don’t understand it AT ALL. It makes me SO sad, because aging is beautiful...and the lines and crows feet show life! And it’s well earned, I believe. Idk, I just don’t understand feeling that vain or insecure and needing to do such extreme stuff to feel better about myself. I actually told my mom I thought it was a mental health issue and she would do better spending the money on therapy. I’m sure you can guess how that went over. But anyway, I could not agree with you more. I am constantly on my soap box, making sure my kids understand that natural is beautiful.
Thanks, Charlotte! I always looked younger, and then I worried that all of a sudden I would shift to Cryptkeeper, but I seem to be pretty much right on schedule. :) I am so sorry about your mom's situation. I don't get plastic surgery AT ALL either, and I feel like if anything it usually makes people look older. Because you can almost always spot someone who's had work done, and then they look fake AND older anyway. I love seeing older women in the media who are aging gracefully, or at least appear that way, like Diane Keaton, and Meryl Streep, Viola Davis, Julianne Moore. I feel like you can enhance things and still be natural. I found myself having to do No Makeup Sunday because I found myself not comfortable seeing my face without makeup and not wanting to leave the house without it, and it was like, is that really how I feel or am I just not used to my face as is? I'm not quite brave enough to do it at school, though. :)
DeleteI gosh yes! And Julia Roberts looks so amazing, Michelle Pfiffer, Ellen DeGeneres. Helen Miren. I love to see it, the natural aging process.
DeleteAnd yeah...I have been though phases with makeup. I haven’t been a regular wearer in years and years. I remember feeling like I couldn’t go to work without it, but then one day I was just like EFF it, IDC. Nowadays, I am definitely not getting up earlier to do my makeup, but I do sometimes rock “yesterday’s leftover look” because when I do wear it, I’m horrible about removing it.
And yeah...my mom has never looked natural with the work she has done. I told her if she starts looking like Joan Rivers I’m disowning her. And I always think (about the actresses) like Lisa Rinna...how gross kissing over-filled lips must feel...like it’s looks so gross, it’s makes me squeamish thinking about it, so gross and unnatural!
Full confession: I recently got sucked in to make-up tutorials. Not because I want to spend that amount of time creating the final products (and let's be honest, I wouldn't even know where to begin) but because I am utterly fascinated by all the contouring and blending of layer upon layer of make-up women apply to get a final polished look. The goal seems to be beyond covering the flaws, creating something that isn't possible without the product.
ReplyDeleteI put facials into a different category as though it can have the effect of removing some of the signs of aging, they are also insanely relaxing.
Anyway, I agree with you and Charlotte. There's too much focus on anti-aging and perfection even though the efforts to overcome the imperfections often result in looking completely fake. I also now have an attachment to my scars and flaws, seeing beauty in the bumps and dings as it shows what my body has allowed me to do in this life.
Also, you look marvelous darling. Silver highlights on a fresh face.
No confession necessary -- I love makeup, just don't want the makeup to take over my face, if that makes sense. The tutorials are like sorcery... what you can do with contouring is insane. I feel like it would look wrong on me though, like I would still look like I have different shaded stripes everywhere. :) I guess it's enhancing vs altering? One is playing with what you have, one is pretending what you have is totally different, or physically changing your face through surgical procedures. And hey, thanks!
DeleteYou make me laugh. You're just so real and funny in your words and playfulness
ReplyDeleteAnyway, this is my favorite part, for sure. Because I agree with it. "History is what makes you beautiful."
Oh, I'm glad...that's my goal! :)
DeleteThanks, I really think that the constant striving for youth and erasing the effects of the passage of time is so unhealthy, because lines are proof you're living! :)
Okay, I always said I would go grey naturally, but I am much older than you, and I still die my hair. I've been dying it since I was in my 30s to cover up the grey. I say that the main reason for doing it is to be able to attend job interviews, but I don't anticipate having too many of them. (And if I'm honest, my younger sister just got a job and she has gone grey naturally.)
ReplyDeleteI'm considering red vein treatment too. But can't ever imagine plastic surgery unless it was for other, practical or health reasons. I've seen people completely distort their faces, and wonder if they even see the distortion that we all see. (I hate that Nicole Kidman is doing something to her face to look different these days. And of course, there's the Meg Ryan example.) I will admit that I question some of the examples you gave, and just wondered if they have a really, really good Dr.
I adore facials, for the reason Cristy mentioned, but I haven't had one in a long time. Maybe I should.
The whole "filter" thing has encroached everywhere. I hate seeing travel photography that has clearly been touched up. Photos of the Cinque Terre with the houses looking brightly coloured, when really they are subtle pastels.
Oh yes-- the filters in everything make me mad, like everything needs to be augmented reality. Nothing is good enough as is. And I really hate when you know something's been retouched but there's no mention of it. Argle. I don't mind when something is retouched and it's stated, because sometimes the effects can be beautiful, but it needs to be seen more as an artistic interpretation and not passed off as reality.
DeleteI think laziness and cheapness is basically what led me to the Great Gray Experiment, honestly, and now I like it and want to see what happens. I get the whole job interview thing, but I'm hoping that gray hair wouldn't impact that -- how many men dye their hair?!? Ugh, discrimination.
I did look up actresses who haven't done cosmetic surgery, and those seem to be crinkly and "real" looking (I don't really think there's a doctor in the world who can make cosmetic surgery look natural over time, but maybe that's the secret). Nicole Kidman just makes me sad. I thought she would go the work-free route. Vein treatment is definitely something that I think falls under enhance (and even medically needed) -- I have this wonderful colony of spider veins on my legs and I wonder if one day I'll be like, "get rid of them!" I hope you get to go have a facial sometime soon!
If only my spidery veins were on my legs! They're on my face. Hence, make-up if I'm meeting anyone other than my husband. lol
DeleteTHANK YOU! -- I thought I was the only one who didn't like those Snapchat filters! Love your photos (especially the bookshelves behind you!! lol)
ReplyDeleteYou know, I was (am? still??) something of a makeup junkie... but I've hardly worn makeup at all since I stopped working (and I've let my hair go grey too). The only times I put on makeup these days is if there's a special occasion or I'm going out to meet friends I haven't seen in a while for lunch, something like that. I don't see the point of putting it on to go to the supermarket (& then having to take it all off again later...!). I got rid of a ton of makeup when I stopped working, more when we moved, and I did another big purge this fall (& I still have a lot!). (I have an aunt, now in her mid-70s, and I don't think I've seen her without full makeup in more than 40 years. ;) ) I'm all for a day at the spa and I love a nice facial, but I can't imagine injecting my face with botox or whatever, or having plastic surgery done. I did consider going to a cosmetic dermatologist a few years ago -- I have some dark spots on my face & was told that laser treatments might help -- but then I lost my job & I decided I had more important things to spend my money on. ;) (Concealer is cheaper, lol.)
Ha! Yes, the Snapchat is confuzzling to me. I don't get why it is necessary in life. Thanks, the bookshelves are my favorite part! I love my new office.
DeleteI do love makeup! I love a fun lip and playing with eye makeup, but I don't ever want the makeup to wear me, if that makes sense. I rarely wear some kind of foundation, but I do use concealer for a red scar thingie above my lip and under my eyes, and if I have an annoying 40-something zit. Seems unfair that you could have both crinkles and pimples. :)
I started a No Makeup Sunday thing, unless there's some kind of event I don't wear any. And that stands if I go out in public, like to the grocery store or whatever. It was weird to me how hard it was initially to go out without makeup -- I'd gotten so used to how I looked with the enhancements and felt I looked like a paler, sadder, muted version of myself. But now I am getting used to without, but I still wear makeup to school and definitely to any date nights or events. I like playing with period makeup especially -- 1950s, 1920s, 1940s... those are fun decades for embellishment. :)
I actually hate snapchat filters- something about those pictures just bothers me and I'm not even sure why exactly! I often find the "before" makeover pictures are nicer when the person looks more like themselves instead of covered in a thick layer of makeup with eye brows drawn on etc.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hear you on this. It's so much pressure to look a certain way, and I totally agree that history on one is beautiful. I also dislike the snap-chat filters.
ReplyDeleteYour pictures are wonderful!
When my PCOS is under control, I only wear make-up on special occasions. However, when I was off my medication or ramping it back up, I break out horribly and got really self-conscious. I don't know about dyeing my hair - haven't quite gotten to that point, though I'm now not able to count the greys any longer ;). I keep joking that since I keep my hair very short and it wouldn't be much of a commitment, I'm going to dye it some outrageous color when the grey takes over, just to see what it looks like.
Yes, yes, yes to your ombre idea! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd YESSS to authenticity!!! <3
I can’t imagine not dyeing my hair for a while longer. For me, 40 is too young to have as much gray hair as I do (fun fact- my first gray hair was found at age 6- Izzy is only 5 and I found her first gray hair a week ago! Sorry Izzy!).
ReplyDeleteI wear powder on my face but most days neglect to put on any makeup. I will wear makeup for a date night though.
I admire your willingness to look real! You are beautiful in every way already. I must admit that the professional photos we had done for our anniversary were heavily edited. We didn’t request that, it was part of their process. But for the record, Rob was also “edited” into the youngish, sparkly husband of his wife, who definitely had 20 years and 20 pounds taken off in the editing process. I did let people know that the photos were “heavily edited...”. But honestly, it’s kind of fun to have a few extremely idealistic portraits to share. And crepey necks don’t show if you wear a turtleneck. 😉
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