Follow me as I move beyond parenthood into childfree infertility resolution -- things may not have worked out how we'd hoped, but "success" is redefine-able!
Monday, October 9, 2017
#Microblog Mondays: "As A Mother," Fixed
I was listening to NPR the other day, and they were interviewing a woman who kept trying to help out in Las Vegas. She said that she tried to give blood, but they were set for the time being, she asked if she could bring snacks or water or anything to the first responders/hospital staff, and was told to try again later. It's a wonderful thing, seeing how such abject tragedy can be met with incredible human spirit and a desire to help and come together.
As they interviewed her, she said, "As a mother..."
and I groaned inwardly and rolled my eyes. Because of course, only a mother can feel the pain of tragedy, only a mother can be truly scared of the current state of the world for the sake of her children, only a mother REALLY has a stake in humanity or has something to live for when bad things happen.
But then...
"As a mother, wait. As a sister, a daughter, a niece, an aunt...you just want to make it better, you just want to help where you can do something [or something along those lines, forgot the exact wording]."
And just like that, a statement that instantly creates a divide between women who are (implicitly) more capable of nurturing and caring and feeling a responsibility for the state of humanity for the future and women who are childless and so perceived as somehow less invested, that statement was instantly much more inclusive; she was speaking as a WOMAN and not a MOTHER, because she recognized even in the midst of horrible tragedy that they aren't always the same thing but that we can all be equally concerned and helpful.
Thanks, lady on NPR.
Want to read more #Microblog Mondays? Go here and enjoy!
I also groan with the “as a mother” statements. Because it’s not about anything other than being human and loving someone. If you know love, you know enough.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully stated. YES! (and you are saying this...as a mother! Ha)
DeleteWhat Christie said. I'm glad the woman corrected herself.
ReplyDeleteMe, too -- such a lovely thing to hear.
DeleteYeah, I totally agree! It starts to mean something more like "as a human who cares about other humans..." and I like that.
ReplyDeleteYes! Because how is empathy just for one set of people? Loved the fix.
DeleteAlso, anyone who wants to show some love to Las Vegas can send a card to:
ReplyDelete#Hearts4Vegas
c/o City Hall
495 S. Main St.
Las Vegas, NV 89101
It's a small thing, but it's something! More info at https://www.lasvegasnevada.gov/hearts4vegas
Love this idea. Thank you for sharing!
DeleteI love this so much!
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty awesome.
DeleteSo pleased she stopped, thought, re-phrased.
ReplyDeleteI wish more people would do this! (Myself included)
DeleteAs a human is so much more accurate, not to mention inclusive. I'm glad she got some inclusivity in.
ReplyDeleteRight? Go inclusivity!
DeleteThat's nice. I'm hoping some internal alarm made her stop and rethink. Anyway, it shows more empathy than plenty of people I know; she thought about it, and she reworded, so good for her.
ReplyDeleteRight? Amazing empathy. I love when people stop and think as they are talking, especially in public forums.
DeleteOooh, I like that she corrected herself. Like several others have mentioned, I also groan when people pull the "like a mother" business.
ReplyDeleteMe, too! It was the best!
DeleteI know I read this post before, & I think I must have had it in the back of my mind when I wrote my two recent "as a father" posts. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm reminded of a dynamic young speaker I heard at a work event a few years back, which I blogged about... see the last item in this blog post:
http://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.ca/2011/01/odds-ends-postscripts-followups.html
Yes! It's so lovely when people stop and think and regroup their thoughts to include everyone. Fantastic!
DeleteI have decided to never begin a sentence with the words “as a....” We’ll see if I can stick to it.
ReplyDeleteI think it's so hard, especially because it's so prevalent and out there that "as a parent" or "as a mother" is somehow more of a worthwhile nugget than "as a human." Steps in the right direction, though!
DeleteThis. Absolutely this. (Hugs)
ReplyDelete