I had my mother over for lunch today, and made us some very tasty smoked salmon omelettes (cheating and using the T.rader Joe's Feta Cheese Spread instead of a cheesy concoction of my own... and it was DELICIOUS), a salad with blueberries I picked Saturday with a friend, and a blueberry cake from a Maine cookbook (again with the blueberries I picked, because there's 5 juicy pounds in the fridge so they have to go SOMEWHERE yummy).
She asked if she could see our profile book, and since it was approved and it shipped today, I decided I would share, in part because I'm ridiculously proud of the damn thing. Also, it was kind of like not sharing a baby name until it's on the birth certificate, -- that baby is born and named, and it's too late to change anything so there's no point sharing any negative thoughts because the deed is done...it's out there.
But she loved it.
And later in the day, she sent me a text, and in addition to thanking me for tasty vittles and good conversation, she said, "It's great to see you so happy."
And I AM HAPPY -- not that I've been utterly miserable up until now, but we've just had such a rough go of things for what seems like forever. I think most of the last four years of our fertility treatment journey was steeped in such misery, such failure, such physical and emotional pain, such a dearth of good news, ever...and it's not that way anymore.
Because adoption, that makes me happy, and there is such a marked difference in how this process has treated us versus infertility treatment, in how smoothly and swiftly things have gone up until this point, at least (time to go knock on some serious wood).
I feel so hopeful, so full of anticipation, so excited for all that's to come, whenever that comes to fruition. And having the profile book done, that makes me happy, too, because now all of our efforts go from preparing paperwork to preparing for a baby (pediatrician interviews! daycare interviews! registering for baby stuff! buying a crib and making up a low-key nursery! reading about how to help newborns sleep better!).
And that, that brings a big fat smile to my face.
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