Follow me on the crazy, hopeful, discouraging, funny, and ultimately successful (one way or another) path to parenthood while facing infertility.

Monday, November 17, 2014

#Microblog Mondays: The House


Yesterday we were on our way to a late lunch out when we stopped by an open house. We are not buying a house; not with a realtor; have been agonizing over whether or not to put an addition on or move to a new house...but all of that has been dependent on infertility. So we haven't tried to find a house very seriously, but then stumbled upon The House, just by chance. It's nearly perfect: a 1925-built but recently-renovated colonial with a boatload of character, four bedrooms, the kitchen I salivate over, an office for me and an office for him, a room for exercise equipment, a mudroom, built-ins galore, and they even had a room for their WINE FRIDGES, plural. (Negatives: inground pool, ginormous size, ginormous lot, a bit pricey for our comfort, double-yellow-line street). This house was very nearly made for us...but it's just not the right time. I am headed into our tenth IVF cycle, our second-to-last if we hold tight to the No More After The Frozens Are Gone decision, and we will need the adoption money at the ready if the frozens prove to be failures (plus it's the holidays, and our house is not even remotely on the market or market-ready). The kicker was the couple with the baby carrier who walked in after us, who will probably have the children to fill a house that size, who probably (but maybe not) didn't have to pay a sizeable down payment to try for their baby, and who will, in all probability, be buying what should be OUR HOUSE. Oh, infertility, your sting reaches so far beyond the immediate disappointment of reproductive failure.

Want to read more Microblog Mondays? Follow the link! Stirrup Queens #Microblog Mondays

12 comments:

  1. So this is my first Microblog Monday post and I tried really hard to adhere to the 8-sentence maximum...but (especially if you know my posts), that's really hard! Unless I counted wrong I just snuck it in, with some questionable punctuation and use of parentheses. ;-) This was fun to participate in and I have enjoyed reading the other posts! Please go check them out.

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  2. We bought our house while we were trying to get pregnant- early enough that we didn't know exactly what was ahead but far enough in to know there was a significant problem. It took us two years of vacillating between options- big houses we might feel lonely in or homes we'd hopefully quickly out grow. Damn infertility!

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    1. Yes! It infiltrates everything. I hope you found the perfect house for you! :)

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  3. Siiiigh. I hate that so much of life with infertility involves feeling like life is on hold while you throw all your efforts into baby-making.

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    1. Yup. On-hold is kind of our mantra, our ongoing existence. Hopefully not for too much longer. It's scary to take yourself off-hold, but I think it's needed for sanity's sake!

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  4. We put off trips and major purchases in anticipation of being pregnant or having small children. It makes me so sad sometimes, too, not having the one thing we want most and the cascading effects that had on our lives. I'm sure you will get your new (or remodeled) home, it will be filled with love and laughter and it will be perfect.

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    1. Yes, putting off is constant, isn't it? Infertility touches every major decision, even every minor one. I so hope for your last sentence, a home filled with love and little people laughter (because honestly right now we have a home filled with love and laughter, just no mini humans). Thanks!

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    2. Ah yes, I should have added the little people caveat, because how else do we carry on if not for all the love and laughter. How is your weather, they keep talking about Buffalo so I'm not sure how affected you are, but I hope that you and yours are safe. Whatever the weather, I hope you're warm and cozy. And laughing :)

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  5. Just know that you've got family who understand the need to put off and the need to plan around. We're rooting for you. (Hug.)

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  6. What a bittersweet post to have found the dream home and have it out of reach like that.

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    1. Thanks--the thing that always gets us is that our house is just fine for the life we have now. A bigger kitchen and more storage would be nice, but it's not necessary. That house fits the life we've been working so hard for, the one we really want. We feel a little selfish because we have a lovely house for two people, and that house just contrasted so much and brought to light the house and the life we wish was ours in this moment. (Someday...)

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