tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post8991313495693957163..comments2023-11-19T21:42:17.901-08:00Comments on My Path to Mommyhood: #Microblog Mondays: Self-AcceptanceJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-56510215587222278702016-01-30T12:50:39.378-08:002016-01-30T12:50:39.378-08:00Another insightful post, Jess. It does seem that r...Another insightful post, Jess. It does seem that resolutions are all about improvement, but (in my experience) are always abandoned or otherwise deemed failures leaving you feeling ever crummier for not having accomplished whatever you set out to. Acceptance seems like a very worthy cause. Difficult, certainly, but well worth it even if all we can do is make progress toward it. I appreciate your thoughtful posts... they are so good for so many people in various situations. Who cares if your baby's nutrition comes from a bottle or a boob? THAT (your thoughtfulness, work toward acceptance, perspective) is what your mystery baby will really benefit from. What a lucky child he/she will be! Cheers to a new year, with the same, very acceptable and wonderful you!Kelseyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02475215174723439229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-72657237037712304322016-01-03T09:15:00.267-08:002016-01-03T09:15:00.267-08:00Great post. This is exactly how I feel about my b...Great post. This is exactly how I feel about my body now. I've neglected it for too long, ignored it, and now I am going through some hormonal changes and it's not doing what I want it do anymore. Been there, done that and I hate that feeling. Time to get strong again! Thank you for this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-79764825489844432402015-12-30T05:56:49.936-08:002015-12-30T05:56:49.936-08:00Thank you -- it is lovely to be in a place of peac...Thank you -- it is lovely to be in a place of peace and decisions made before we head into another realm of tough decisions to make... :) Thank you so much!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-29529594480984964912015-12-30T05:00:43.894-08:002015-12-30T05:00:43.894-08:00I enjoyed reading this post and all the comments. ...I enjoyed reading this post and all the comments. Accepting and eradicating guilt is important and very difficult. I am pleased to read that thoughtful decisions have been made and a sense of coming to peace with same has / is following. <br /><br />Middle Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12334580430376973159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-60981028654942988012015-12-29T13:02:19.607-08:002015-12-29T13:02:19.607-08:00Thank you -- it's so hard not to wrangle. To a...Thank you -- it's so hard not to wrangle. To always see disappointment in the mirror instead of acceptance and love. And man is it hard to realize how big a factor an older metabolism is in all this... Sigh. So, accept it is! I wish you luck in this as well!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-85540784986575855132015-12-29T13:01:08.844-08:002015-12-29T13:01:08.844-08:00Thank you so much, Parul! Peace with where things ...Thank you so much, Parul! Peace with where things are now has been hard to come by, but I feel like it's easier and easier as time marches on and we get closer to the mystery date when we become parents. Thank you for your sweet thoughts!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-34355936370405305322015-12-29T13:00:02.902-08:002015-12-29T13:00:02.902-08:00Thank you so much, Lori! I so look forward to the ...Thank you so much, Lori! I so look forward to the room for all that is to come. We are not naive and know that parenting comes with challenges, adoptive parenting more so, but it will all be so, so worth it. I am so excited for 2016, and love that you added "whatever we bring it," because it reminds me that I am responsible for bringing happiness and peace my way, too. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-79459842819040634932015-12-29T12:58:14.255-08:002015-12-29T12:58:14.255-08:00I feel like strong and functional are definitely g...I feel like strong and functional are definitely great goals! I've been in physical therapy for my knees since the summer, and it's been great to hit a point where I can do squats pain-free. CrossFit would probably break me, and I loved Zumba but it left me with a swollen knee and ankle so I think it's a little too high-impact for me. Hiking and yoga/pilates blends seem to at least give me a chance to sweat and enjoy doing it. I have to fit more yoga in, because it really helps me slow down and center and feel more at peace, in addition to adding strength and back stretching in the mix. I can't imagine not being able to do a wall sit. Healthy and solid, I think I'm okay with that! :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-33646186122483039282015-12-29T12:55:16.434-08:002015-12-29T12:55:16.434-08:00Oh, thank you! Your comment made me cry. :) I am s...Oh, thank you! Your comment made me cry. :) I am so glad that feeding is going well with Ayan and to hear your thoughts on breastfeeding vs bottle feeding. It's such a hot button thing, which is kind of strange to me because as long as a baby is well fed and nutritionally cared for, who cares? Oh boy to the exhaustion of caring for tiny people... I'm kind of hoping that lifting that little bundle and pushing the stroller on walks will count for something... :) Thank you for your kind thoughts on the holiday posts and the hope that each post will be THE post about our match. It will happen, and the further into 2016 we get the antsier I think I might become, but for now we wait with more joy than anxiety. It sure would be nice to start the new year as parents, though... :) Thank you for your long and rambly comment and I was so happy to see an update from you, frustrations and all. Take care and Happy New Year!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-70366470644579725222015-12-29T12:49:38.597-08:002015-12-29T12:49:38.597-08:00You are so welcome, what a sweet comment! It is so...You are so welcome, what a sweet comment! It is so hard to put the past at rest, but I do feel that it doesn't have to define my future. Self-acceptance is totally an ongoing process, right? Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-41552488777698404642015-12-29T12:48:35.855-08:002015-12-29T12:48:35.855-08:00I love this, "it's still amazing what it ...I love this, "it's still amazing what it can do, despite being broken." That's totally how I feel. Thanks for the cheers, I'm glad it resonated with you!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-58903203986766014592015-12-29T12:47:52.007-08:002015-12-29T12:47:52.007-08:00Thank you -- it's not easy, but I'm trying...Thank you -- it's not easy, but I'm trying to let go of the guilt. And the peace, that's lovely to end the year with that decision made. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-91280373442174249792015-12-29T05:45:38.116-08:002015-12-29T05:45:38.116-08:00This is such a powerful statement: "Now I am ...This is such a powerful statement: "Now I am working on accepting my body for what it is, not what I want to wrangle it to be." Maybe that is my resolution: to be accepting of what is instead of trying to fit myself into something I've convince myself I need to be.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-2726307903558062382015-12-29T02:15:15.371-08:002015-12-29T02:15:15.371-08:00Self acceptance is the first step to feel at peace...Self acceptance is the first step to feel at peace with how things are. While I can't talk much on the topic, I am glad you sound at peace with yourself and as a reader of your blog, I want that for you. I want you and your little family to be happy and smile through life. Whatever way you are, you are wonderful. Please know that. Hugs and best wishes for a lovely 2016. May it bring the best. Parulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14933210393492294463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-44767034612525608482015-12-28T13:25:30.094-08:002015-12-28T13:25:30.094-08:00This post resonates for me deeply, as I was here o...This post resonates for me deeply, as I was here once letting go of so many things.<br /><br />What I found was that in doing so, I made room for other things. Wonderful other things, and all that comes with them...(always a mix of wonderful and challenging).<br /><br />Here's to 2016, whatever it may bring and whatever we bring it.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-57181467342557092692015-12-28T12:20:44.277-08:002015-12-28T12:20:44.277-08:00Strong is the new skinny! I remember watching Amer...Strong is the new skinny! I remember watching America's Next Top Model years ago and all of the models were supposed to do a wall sit. One of the models collapsed after less than 5 seconds, her legs shaking and I thought "whoa. Would never want to be like that." I think that the trend is definitely moving towards strong and things like CrossFit. If your body allows you to do the things that you love like yoga, hiking, etc. then it's doing a great job!Non Sequitur Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268138421234170972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-40547366873974013792015-12-28T12:12:34.836-08:002015-12-28T12:12:34.836-08:00I'm ages behind on commenting, one part lazine...I'm ages behind on commenting, one part laziness, one part exhaustion and two parts business. I've been a bad blog friend. First of all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Your posts throughout the Christmas season I thought were so thoughtful and uplifting, even when dealing with difficult topics. This time of year is so hard (but then again, so is the spring, and the fall, and summer isn't a cake walk, either). I want so badly for this to be your last Christmas as a family of two. Although you and Bryce, as usual, had an enviable Christmas filled with so much love and peace and happiness. Each time I see a post from you, my heart skips a beat--that this will be the post where you say you've been matched. <br /><br />However, this is not what this post is about--letting go of the guilt. There just is so much guilt associated with infertility. I think you're making the right choice about breastfeeding. I want so badly to provide Ayan with the best of everything--to make up for the fact that he is a 100% donor baby--including breastfeeding. Maybe I didn't try hard enough, but I just couldn't do it. But Jess, he is thriving. He is so happy and he's meeting his milestones. And so happy and loving. He may be a little on the big side, as formula fed babies often are, but I'd so much rather he be at the 90th percentile than the 5th percentile. And bottle feeding is so freeing. My friends who have nursed/are nursing seem exhausted by month 6 of being the sole source of food for your baby. When you bottle feed you don't have to find a private place to feed (I'm all for breastfeeding when/where needed, but I think it's easier to nurse in public than it is in front of male relatives), other people can feed the baby, which is an amazing bonding experience for them, and no pumping!! Although I believe that breastfeeding is probably best, I've kind of gone in the other direction and find the zealous insistence on breast is best to be oppressive and insulting. <br /><br />As for body image--I think this is a good exercise to go through now, because when Mystery Baby arrives, it's going to be even harder to fit in exercise and healthy eating. I've been willing myself to get out of bed early enough to go for a walk or pop in an exercise video for months now and so far, I just keep hitting the snooze button. Tiny humans take up so much physical and mental energy. Besides, you're beautiful and glowing, even without the pesky pregnancy hormones. <br /><br />This is a long and rambly comment to tell you that I've been reading, I've been willing Mystery Baby to appear sooner rather than later because I know of very few more deserving parents, and to toast to you and Bryce for how you've dealt with the pretty difficult hand you've been give thus far. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-27180460078347927962015-12-28T11:45:16.067-08:002015-12-28T11:45:16.067-08:00Wow Jess! Thank you for writing this. I really nee...Wow Jess! Thank you for writing this. I really needed to read something like this right now, as I am struggling with self-acceptance. About my body and with many other things that are all created in my own head. I will likely come back to this post again and again as a reminder.<br />I am so glad you are able to look ahead and put the past to rest.Charlottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08987444437659867827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-75573709300294925952015-12-28T11:41:34.948-08:002015-12-28T11:41:34.948-08:00Cheering you on with this post! Accepting our bodi...Cheering you on with this post! Accepting our bodies, both the good and the bad, is very challenging. Especially after infertility. It's taken me such a long time to come around and love my body again after all we lived through because of it. And yet, it's still amazing what it can do, despite being broken. And I'm glad your accepting your body too.<br /><br />Thanks for the beautiful reminder.Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-11959165245813994722015-12-28T11:28:24.072-08:002015-12-28T11:28:24.072-08:00I'm so glad to hear you reached a decision abo...I'm so glad to hear you reached a decision about your embryos that gave you peace. Letting go of guilt and finding acceptance, in my experience, are very difficult things to do, but they're incredibly rewarding when you do. It sounds like you're well on your way to achieving both. Best wishes to you and yours in the coming year. *hugs*internetg33khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12672869878789920528noreply@blogger.com