tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post7153493673880500831..comments2023-11-19T21:42:17.901-08:00Comments on My Path to Mommyhood: #Microblog Mondays: Why Is There Such A Difference? Jesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-29714988015198018092015-05-21T15:24:31.224-07:002015-05-21T15:24:31.224-07:00I think that cautious optimism is the way to go fo...I think that cautious optimism is the way to go for sure. After experiencing loss and disappointment and devastation, it's so important to protect your heart. Thank you for your comment, it brought tears to my eyes. No one should have to experience such loss. May there be joy in the future! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-58064705478037776972015-05-21T15:22:02.926-07:002015-05-21T15:22:02.926-07:00Thank you for your excitement! It is definitely ne...Thank you for your excitement! It is definitely news worthy of happy reactions and support. :) I appreciate yours very much!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-11408630831204620282015-05-21T15:21:31.997-07:002015-05-21T15:21:31.997-07:00Thank you! Yes, they absolutely missed the boat. A...Thank you! Yes, they absolutely missed the boat. And it doesn't seem like a particularly difficult boat to catch, you know? Thanks for your thoughts!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-91466169461908068142015-05-21T15:20:40.570-07:002015-05-21T15:20:40.570-07:00HA! You always make me laugh. Yes, perverts for su...HA! You always make me laugh. Yes, perverts for sure! Thank you for the SQUEE-ing! Definitely a special place for the people who are excited right off the bat. :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-60212881537232555602015-05-21T15:19:46.575-07:002015-05-21T15:19:46.575-07:00Absolutely, I think that is part of it. I just don...Absolutely, I think that is part of it. I just don't get why "congratulations" doesn't come up as appropriate, especially when I don't say "I'm in the adoption process" like I'm Eeyore or anything, I'm all enthusiastic. Argh! I feel like IF helped me to realize the duality in being happy for other people while feeling sad that I wasn't in that boat myself. But I would never NOT congratulate someone, even when it's hard internally. That's a great attitude to have, I'm impressed! :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-83713157469474097492015-05-21T15:17:46.384-07:002015-05-21T15:17:46.384-07:00Absolutely -- I am lucky in that I have a really g...Absolutely -- I am lucky in that I have a really great support network and people who truly "get it." I like to test the waters of sharing my adoption process as others so casually share pregnancies (although past a point they don't have a choice, as awomanmyage pointed out), and usually I'm happy with the result. It's just so disheartening when it's a narrow result. Maybe they'll feel it's worthy of celebrating when a baby is actually here. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-42136794791896509342015-05-21T15:15:51.352-07:002015-05-21T15:15:51.352-07:00Thank you so much! I refuse to be dampened, dammit...Thank you so much! I refuse to be dampened, dammit! :) It did get me a bit blue for a little bit, but just because they sucked. Thanks for your thoughts!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-85673402209848767882015-05-21T15:15:05.733-07:002015-05-21T15:15:05.733-07:00That's true, you can't physically see it. ...That's true, you can't physically see it. I don't look any different, but it's like walking around while in my third trimester all the time. For a long time. Yes, I think it is already challenging to temper excitement with realism, for the ones who are unadulteratedly excited for us, so I'm a little worried about that "Any news" scenario. But YES, so much excitement from the true supporters on no more IVF. Thank you for your thoughts! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-6767659219485433392015-05-21T15:13:08.474-07:002015-05-21T15:13:08.474-07:00Thank you for the congratulations! Absolutely a ca...Thank you for the congratulations! Absolutely a cause for celebration! I just don't get the other reactions. Thanks for your thoughts!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-33656210936710705202015-05-21T15:12:13.373-07:002015-05-21T15:12:13.373-07:00I guess I just don't understand why adoption s...I guess I just don't understand why adoption should be considered a sensitive issue when planning for pregnancy obviously isn't. I was most hurt because these weren't strangers, at least half the room was filled with people who've known me, if not super well, for years. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-35892448893610471602015-05-21T15:11:08.754-07:002015-05-21T15:11:08.754-07:00Thank you! There's no putting a damper on my a...Thank you! There's no putting a damper on my attitude, just crankiness resulting from other people's ridiculousness. :) It WAS embarrassing though because of the crickets. I hate crickets. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-57039306482981124892015-05-21T08:22:29.708-07:002015-05-21T08:22:29.708-07:00I am so happy for you that your family is growing!...I am so happy for you that your family is growing! You indeed have exciting times ahead. Shailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07174562168503272243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-73108410387697460662015-05-20T05:30:46.695-07:002015-05-20T05:30:46.695-07:00Growing your family is wonderful news, and your co...Growing your family is wonderful news, and your co-workers missed the boat on this one. Amanda Prescotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11709979610638621806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-56423067999679206752015-05-19T12:16:29.250-07:002015-05-19T12:16:29.250-07:00Well, apparently your co-workers and fellow traine...Well, apparently your co-workers and fellow trainees are just perverts. <br /><br />There is definitely more than one way to make a family.The rest of us will just SQUEE louder for you to make up for the people who don't get it! :)Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11569304261655584855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-72284322781104847962015-05-19T12:03:19.326-07:002015-05-19T12:03:19.326-07:00I truly has to be a lack of knowing what to say. I...I truly has to be a lack of knowing what to say. I like to think that IF has made me more able to be happy for others and express it when they tell me that they are growing their family in any way.JustHeatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05373768249873098150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-86230091485538085822015-05-18T21:25:31.371-07:002015-05-18T21:25:31.371-07:00Ugh. I'm sorry about the double standard expe...Ugh. I'm sorry about the double standard experience you just had. Some people can be so narrow in their thinking. The adoption process should be celebrated. Keep those who are openly happy for you close as your support.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06275071143469111072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-71895598172776544152015-05-18T21:13:10.873-07:002015-05-18T21:13:10.873-07:00Wow. Just wow. I really don't understand why y...Wow. Just wow. I really don't understand why you got this reaction other than pure ignorance on their end. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. But please don't let it dampen your excitement. May the process is a smooth and swift one. Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-83067610306795470092015-05-18T21:03:56.122-07:002015-05-18T21:03:56.122-07:00Sometimes some people can't actually RELATE to...Sometimes some people can't actually RELATE to adoption. It doesn't really have the usual 9 month baby bump obviousness. You can't really TOUCH a process can you? My friends were excited when I said we were adopting because finally they didn't have to watch me agonize a failed IVF. By the 2nd year of waiting though I was getting sick and tired of "So, how's it going? Any news?"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-3428507438910802442015-05-18T20:32:45.613-07:002015-05-18T20:32:45.613-07:00Even more than a little coo. It is too bad that (s...Even more than a little coo. It is too bad that (still) in this day and age folks are so clueless. Endeavoring to create a family is cause for celebration. Congratulations. Middle Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12334580430376973159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-28051317704637876452015-05-18T19:30:27.746-07:002015-05-18T19:30:27.746-07:00Many people don't know what to say with a sens...Many people don't know what to say with a sensitive issue. They prefer to listen, take cues and go with the flow. I would talk to friends who know me, who are supportive of my decisions. It is much more difficult to relate with strangers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-40639146652063424422015-05-18T19:06:45.178-07:002015-05-18T19:06:45.178-07:00Savannah - I am super impressed by your ability to...Savannah - I am super impressed by your ability to maintain your care for others in the face of such comments. Seems like the same thing to me too.<br />Jess - I hear you on the hesitancy - we waited for a heartbeat the first time and waited until the second trimester the second time and I do not want to tell anyone ever again that we are not going to watch our children grow up.junebughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10925785225181424740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-37962648956624524792015-05-18T15:21:02.233-07:002015-05-18T15:21:02.233-07:00I feel for you in that double-standard, embarrassi...I feel for you in that double-standard, embarrassing situation. But I also think it is wonderful that you are sharing your excitement about starting the adoption process. If people don't get how awesome that is then they are just pathetic. I hope they don't put a permanent damper on your good attitude!torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-23887835230172858912015-05-18T15:10:12.241-07:002015-05-18T15:10:12.241-07:00Seriously! Americans are totally prudish! I deserv...Seriously! Americans are totally prudish! I deserved at least a little coo, I think. So annoying. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-66014385481867437822015-05-18T15:09:47.555-07:002015-05-18T15:09:47.555-07:00YES, cringeworthy for sure! I hope no heartbreak t...YES, cringeworthy for sure! I hope no heartbreak too, but feel a little realistic that I should prepare for it. Not perseverate on it, but be prepared that heartbreak could be in the cards with this pathway, too. Thanks for the cheers!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-11263781131510459362015-05-18T15:08:43.648-07:002015-05-18T15:08:43.648-07:00There are exciting days ahead! I just wish that I ...There are exciting days ahead! I just wish that I could be granted the same excitement as the people doing it "the old fashioned way." The double standard is what gets me. Doesn't hamper MY excitement, though! :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.com