tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post5701517810312475898..comments2023-11-19T21:42:17.901-08:00Comments on My Path to Mommyhood: Self Care For The BrokenJesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-61285208161611188352017-04-20T10:23:14.708-07:002017-04-20T10:23:14.708-07:00They are definitely helping! I am so sorry about y...They are definitely helping! I am so sorry about your unfriending experience. I hate even the term, and when it is family and politically motivated that really sucks. Unfollowing is so much nicer. We were unfriended recently, and even the though the situation was different and a bit nastier, and part of me was grateful, it still was like, REALLY? I feel like the pro/con list of facebook gets more con every day. Good luck with your situation... do you talk outside of facebook? Maybe an alternate way of communication would be better. Sigh. <br /><br />And every day a little better. Sometimes I wish I had gone somewhere where I didn't feel the compulsion to do laundry or take phone calls, but I think I am doing a good enough job trying to recoup. :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-82075455492754145102017-04-20T10:20:28.692-07:002017-04-20T10:20:28.692-07:00Funny you mentioned Lupron...I was thinking this h...Funny you mentioned Lupron...I was thinking this has surpassed Lupron for me at this point. I will be happy to never take Prednisone ever, EVER again. A pipe dream unfortunately, probably, because of the asthma and whatnot. I am loving the "unfollow" feature. It has made things so much more pleasant. I am trying to do all the things, but once again I sort of overscheduled break and feel a little overwhelmed, even though it's all things out of love. I don't quite know what to do about this next week of school, but I know I at least have Monday off because my eye pressure spiked and they needed a one-week checkup and the only appointment was midday. So there's that. <br /><br />Thank you for the hugs and the thoughts. I am looking forward to being less goo, which I do feel every day I reconstitute a bit more (and some days I slide back a bit but that's to be expected). Thank you so much.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-66835992850897706202017-04-18T17:31:53.835-07:002017-04-18T17:31:53.835-07:00These all sound like great strategies, and I can p...These all sound like great strategies, and I can personally vouch for quite a few of them. ;) I hope they are helping! <br /><br />Unfollowing is definitely the way to go on FB, versus unfriending -- unless you're really in a vengeful mood...! My gun-toting Republican Trump-voting cousin quietly unfriended me earlier this year... not sure exactly when (because he didn't tell me, just disappeared from my friends list) -- but I am pretty sure it was right around the time of the inauguration & Women's March, when (I will admit) I probably ran a little amok liking and sharing a lot of anti-Trump articles & opinion pieces. ;) We are miles apart politically -- but I'll admit, it hurt. I only HAVE two cousins on that side of the family. He could have just unfollowed me & I would never have been the wiser. Dh suggested I just play dumb & send him another friend request. I might, eventually, but for now, I think I will just let things be. :( loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-79312242030363743352017-04-17T07:33:45.808-07:002017-04-17T07:33:45.808-07:00The FB "unfollow" is wonderful. I'v...The FB "unfollow" is wonderful. I've unfollowed people at various times and it is amazing what a difference it makes mental health-wise. <br /><br />It sounds like you are doing the things you need to be healthy and taking care of yourself. That's awesome and I admire your determination to do that - especially the hard stuff like the profile calls. <br /><br />Prednisone is such a help but the side effects can be the devil incarnate. I took it once for a back injury, and only Lupron was more awful on the side effects. Prdnisone's a horrible drug especially when added to an already tough situation. Hope things get better and sending a hug and lots of thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-38662579679094776512017-04-15T15:34:44.149-07:002017-04-15T15:34:44.149-07:00I will take all the hugs! Never too many hugs! I a...I will take all the hugs! Never too many hugs! I am trying to force myself to nothing. Which seems against the point, but I have this need to do things to fill the space so I don't think about the things that are hard. And so much is hard. I am sad, but definitely think the month off is a good thing, like you said, Especially for any child that could come along. Hooray for peaceful feeds. Especially in these turbulent times! Thanks for the love and hugs, lady.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-46336445599159936202017-04-15T15:31:46.046-07:002017-04-15T15:31:46.046-07:00It was really hard to make that profile call decis...It was really hard to make that profile call decision. But, if I myself am struggling to add in those weighty decisions (not to mention the address anxiety of possibly driving/flying somewhere and also...I need to take care of myself right now, could I honestly take on that situation, even if it was the best possible one? Hard thoughts to grapple with.). I wish I had found unfollow sooner! I am doing an okay job. This list reminds me. I am still avoiding some things, and today the grocery store just about did me in, but ups and downs, you know? Thanks for your thoughts and cheers and support! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-1938437154858652102017-04-14T20:53:17.465-07:002017-04-14T20:53:17.465-07:00I unfollowed someone a week or so ago, and I reali...I unfollowed someone a week or so ago, and I realised yesterday how (relatively) peaceful my Fb feed had been. The "don't allow notifications" thing is good too, but I usually only remember to turn that on after I've received too many of them!<br /><br />Everything else sounds good. The yoga, the directed meditation, the talking and not talking. I'm sorry about taking the month off, but that is such a sensible and responsible and loving (to yourselves, and to any child too) thing to do.<br /><br />Sending hugs again. You can't have too many, right?Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-58813352720701654622017-04-14T06:38:55.146-07:002017-04-14T06:38:55.146-07:00I use the turn off notifications option too. Howev...I use the turn off notifications option too. However, the posts will still show up in your newsfeed. The only way to be sure you won't see something is to unfollow. (Any U/S photo post is an automatic unfollow for me, usually after a nice comment....and no hard feelings haha)torthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-68540796304157371032017-04-13T10:02:49.523-07:002017-04-13T10:02:49.523-07:00Good for you, Jess! The unfollow feature is my fav...Good for you, Jess! The unfollow feature is my favorite Facebook invention. I'm still utilizing it to its fullest. <br /><br />I really admire you taking the month off profile calls. I don't think that's something I would be able to do even though it's obviously for the best. <br /><br />You're so good at knowing what you need and taking it, and I envy that. Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00585102132829280344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-17990001685958517632017-04-13T09:42:08.275-07:002017-04-13T09:42:08.275-07:00Oh, thank you. It was so fun to lie on my bamboo m...Oh, thank you. It was so fun to lie on my bamboo mat and hear your voice through my ear buds. A little surreal, but it was like being calmed by a good friend. Which is sort of exactly what it was. I hope your ears were ringing. ;) <br /><br />I am trying. I am trying to not try to be okay anymore, to accept that strong can mean falling apart and picking myself up again in a different order. I'm all jumbled up. And I'm tired, so tired. I look forward to feeling less of a hot mess, one day. <br /><br />It will be okay. I just feel a little phoenix-y right now. I'm in ashes at the moment. I don't know how I'm going to rise, in what form, what gets left behind in the flames. So hard. But to have this support, to have all these amazing things and people to get me through? I am the luckiest hot mess around. <3Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-34147116619297622542017-04-13T09:39:17.304-07:002017-04-13T09:39:17.304-07:00Thank you. For this, too "be patient and gent...Thank you. For this, too "be patient and gentle with yourself." That is the hardest thing. I did too much one of the days, and I felt exhausted. Sometimes I have bursts of "I"m OKAY!" and then I'm reminded how NOT okay I truly am. Little steps are good. Picking myself up if I fall down again is good. Leaning on people who are there in all sorts of ways is good. Bryce is definitely fantastic, and even better, he's much, much better than he was. Now it's just the same allergy thing I have, no more scary choking-to-death coughing and fevers. Whew. So good news on that front! :) Thank you for your love and support. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-18257157319630507792017-04-13T09:37:14.403-07:002017-04-13T09:37:14.403-07:00Thank you! Self-care is super important. It's ...Thank you! Self-care is super important. It's not always easy to take it, but especially in dark times, in sad times, in the uncertainty of infertility and other losses, self-care is important. I wish you peace. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-90019191844979792832017-04-13T09:36:04.094-07:002017-04-13T09:36:04.094-07:00Sadly that doesn't surprise me at all. I feel ...Sadly that doesn't surprise me at all. I feel like in some ways I want to be sure that I have all kinds of plans in place for if anything like that ever happened to me, so that I could be sure that my wishes were fulfilled. Have you seen Captain Fantastic? I felt like it did a great job of showing how grief can make you want to disregard the wishes of someone you love. <br /><br />Anyway, yes. Yes, I am better each day at Do Nothing. Well, not nothing exactly, but nothing stressful (today was my last day doing school check-ins for an hour or two, and I know I'm not even supposed to be doing that), everything restorative. My circle opens wider every day with acts of kindness and connection. It is not up to me to inform everyone of everything. I agree. My body and heart are bloody pulps. I'm not sure which is bloodier actually. <br /><br />More blooms every day in the garden! And every day a little better than the last. (with the exception of Tuesday). I am trying to make my way through this to whatever is on the other side. It is hard, but necessary. I feel I lost myself somewhere in there and I am in a great position to rebuild and rediscover who I am and what's truly important. Hard stuff. Thank you for your thoughts and your love and your place in my circle. Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-32277484385261216022017-04-13T09:31:10.326-07:002017-04-13T09:31:10.326-07:00Thank you so much. I like this list quite a bit my...Thank you so much. I like this list quite a bit myself. I have to keep reminding myself to come back here and do these things. Only these things. (well and eat and stuff too obviously) Thank you for reading, for aching, for the hugs. I am trying to get through, one heavy wading foot at a time. I so appreciate your words! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-5492838247357020162017-04-13T09:29:47.935-07:002017-04-13T09:29:47.935-07:00Wow, thanks for the hint -- I did not even know th...Wow, thanks for the hint -- I did not even know that was an option! It must be newish... But that's good to know. So many secret tricks to managing these things!<br /><br />Oh no, sadness to your coloring book. I may have sent you a message. I am definitely trying very hard to take care of myself right now and rest. I am not good at it, so I almost feel like I need to hide things or have someone whisk me away to some retreat somewhere, but seeing as how I am not a celebrity, I will have to have self-control at home and force myself to do only nurturing things. Thank you for your support and love! :)Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-43852204596638452682017-04-13T09:25:12.501-07:002017-04-13T09:25:12.501-07:00Yes. This has been lovely. I am thinking of moving...Yes. This has been lovely. I am thinking of moving facebook off my phone so I am not drawn into it. I bought this book, Irresistable, about how this technology is actually addictive and rewires your brain, and I haven't started it yet but I totally believe it. And FB? Lately so little redeeming there. <br /><br />I love that book. I might have sent you a message. Even if you don't color it, the pictures and the words are fun. And helpful. <br />I seem to be feeling okay during the day but in the morning and at night I am full of poison grossness. I am losing my voice, so good thing I'm not teaching right now. But it has to be allergies I think if it's not all day long. I hope. <br />Every day is better than the last, with the exception of Tuesday, which made me feel like I was being tested biblically. But now things are better. I am sorry that you know what this feels like in terms of breakdownness, and I did go to the doctor Tuesday and I have some fun new prescriptions that are definitely helping. Especially with the sleep aspect, which is the root of so much evil. Thanks for the love!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-68074368512393955312017-04-13T06:41:31.736-07:002017-04-13T06:41:31.736-07:00It is an incredible thing to observe you moving th...It is an incredible thing to observe you moving through this Hard Time so mindfully, Jess. I'm so glad the meditation has been of use to you, and that you are allowing Mother Nature to nurture you (allergies aside) and being so clear on what you need and what you don't need.<br /><br />I so get this feeling: "I want to be a hot mess and have it be okay." Everyone goes through Hard Things, and this post has so much to offer for when you're in the middle of them. The wheel will keep turning and you won't always feel like a hot mess. It IS OK, you will be OK; you are OK.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-6714690306012046412017-04-12T23:56:58.127-07:002017-04-12T23:56:58.127-07:00These are all great self-care activities and strat...These are all great self-care activities and strategies. Keep it up and be patient and gentle with yourself. All of the little steps add up and sometimes there is strength in those little steps, too. Sounds like you are surrounding yourself with the right people, both in friends and in seeking out a local counselor. You have a fantastic husband, and I hope he is feeling better, too.Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06275071143469111072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-14906171356931566262017-04-11T15:46:38.780-07:002017-04-11T15:46:38.780-07:00I'm learning how important self-care is - than...I'm learning how important self-care is - thanks for sharing what works for you. <br /><br />Take care of yourself!countingpinklineshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13383905256508822573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-62701879102218094952017-04-11T15:34:02.451-07:002017-04-11T15:34:02.451-07:00I once attended a lecture where the speaker talked...I once attended a lecture where the speaker talked about emotionally managing loved ones of those diagnosed with terminal cancer. My naive self was shocked to hear that there are now people on staff at cancer centers to deal with the family as the patient is otherwise the one who is comforting and emotionally managing them following their diagnosis, leaving no time for them to focus on their health and put final plans together. Infertility cured me of that naivety, but it still leaves me shaking my head that the primitive response for many is to round it back to them when supporting others.<br /><br />Jess, surround yourself with what heals you. Find those that listen, are willing to sit with you in the hard and generally get it. You get to decide who is in this circle, what advice is helpful and what is good for your body and soul. Your body has been through hell, but so has your heart. So do what is necessary and do not apologize for it.<br /><br />I'm glad you took time to yourself to begin getting yourself back to a place where things will be okay. It's a hard thing to do (coming from someone who regularly fails to do this), but know you are inspirational in doing so. <br /><br />Thinking of you. Wishing so much bloom in your garden tooCristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-15722998631728957842017-04-11T13:45:17.923-07:002017-04-11T13:45:17.923-07:00Ah Jess, I'm so glad that you're taking ca...Ah Jess, I'm so glad that you're taking care of yourself. This is a good list; I like this list. I don't have any words of advice or comfort other than to say that I'm here, I'm reading, I'm aching for you. I will keep reading until you are feeling better, and then I will continue reading. Keep doing anything and everything to get you through this period. So many hugs. Maddiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11241624766671173453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-49946573897556549552017-04-11T09:06:31.828-07:002017-04-11T09:06:31.828-07:00Just another hint for the FB feed if you comment o...Just another hint for the FB feed if you comment on something and you don't want to get future notifications for future comments, just click on the down arrow in the righthand top corner of the post and select "turn off notifications for this post." <br /><br />I am happy that you are taking care of you right now. You are not doing any good to anyone if you are so close to breaking down/current breaking down. Great job with the coloring! I have a coloring book which I should break out....although in the move I have no idea where it went. :-/Non Sequitur Chicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07268138421234170972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7998166587816121679.post-58971284013669813912017-04-11T05:10:38.228-07:002017-04-11T05:10:38.228-07:00I am so glad you are taking a time-out to refocus ...I am so glad you are taking a time-out to refocus on yourself. And I am so glad you put some controls on your fb feed. So many people feel like they just have to be so invested in every single person they are fb friends with, and it's just not true.<br />That coloring book you have sounds really cool. I have trouble getting in to coloring, but I have never been very artistic so that might have something to do with it.<br />I am sorry to hear that you are sick or have asthma and allergies acting up. All the prednisone should be helping with that at least somewhat.<br />I hope each moment is better than the last for you, until you are having more good than bad.<br />P.s. I have been through my own horrible breakdown period before, and I understand about the anxiety/panic-y feeing being a baseline state. There is no shame in some Xanax to help get you through the worst of it.Charlottehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08987444437659867827noreply@blogger.com